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Whether they work outside the home or not, many women find that the routine of looking after a home and family leaves them without a holiday.
There was a house nearby that had a family of seven living there. Yes, in a nice three bedroom apartment, the seven members coexisted, living and working through their lives.
The father went to his office as did the two daughters.
The younger son and his wife worked together in their own shop. They had a little boy who went to school and his practice and tuitions and play; his days full and busy.
Left behind to look after and cater to all the needs was the mother. A caring, kind, homely and typically motherly figure, pretty common in households across India. The matriarch who is the glue that holds the house and its inhabitants together.
She is the doer and organiser of the house; very affectionate and helpful, she often goes out of her way to lend a hand.
She also does the cooking, washing and general upkeep of the house; insisting that she is free. “What else have I got to do?” she says, and her family lets her.
Well, yesterday, she died; quietly and suddenly in the evening after finishing her chores for the day.
As if without disturbing the routine of the house. The doctors said that it was stress that brought on an early death with a heart attack.
Her friends said she died due to over-work.
I always saw her doing something. Peeling vegetables, cutting them, washing clothes by the buckets full – why could five earning members not get her a fully automatic washing machine? They offered her some basic help and helped her themselves when they had time. Maybe it was her preference but at close to 60, even if she didn’t think about it, maybe they should have?
It was as if she was their time keeper and she herself ran out of time!
Now the son and daughter-in-law have moved to be closer to her parents. One daughter has married and moved away. The older son, newly married then, has now moved in with his homely wife to live with the father and one sister. I see his new wife (also a newer mother) handling the responsibilities of the house with élan.
Does she even know what she has got herself into?
I was thinking about her when I cringed as I heard my kid shout, “I need a break! I am tired and I am bored! Today is my holiday!”
How often do we hear this and yet, is it ever a holiday for a woman?
When was the last time you took a true, ‘cross your heart and hope to die’ kind of holiday? Even on a holiday you have something to do. I wondered when I would get mine. Even I was tired and bored as hell; more than him, I need a timeout!
Yes, home and hearth can be boring. Do you remember watching the same cartoon/ movie at least a 100 times? Cooking the same vegetables thrice a week in the exact same way? Scrubbing the same stubborn stains from the same place from the same shirt with the same detergent thrice a week? Making the house spic and span in a few hours so it can be messed up in a few minutes?
Why is always a woman’s job to look after everyone else?
Something to fix, mend, sort, fold, open or just clean and control things getting out of hand. The weekend looms over like a large bottomless pit where I need to jump in, forgetting my fatigue from the past week and hoping it goes off smoothly and swiftly.
So I ask, when will I get my holiday? Or will I be like the lady who just vanished suddenly, still waiting for her holiday?
I always hated Mondays but now I love them. That is the day I take things slow. It is the day I have a partial holiday. Three hours in seven days.
I might just make it!
Image of tired woman via Shutterstock
Freelance writer, blogger and Human Resource Management Lecturer. Juggling my precious worlds and trying to
Wonderfully put! I cannot agree more on how the woman who works at home, day in day out, goes on like a programmed machine , catering to the house and its members and never really enjoys a holiday/break.
Yes, Uma we all must take a break, the home can and will wait. Thanks for reading.
Hats off for writing this article! Loved the way you put some valuable points 🙂
Thank you Shalzzz, 🙂
Unless we force ourselves to enjoy leaves or idle times, it’s never going to happen. There always will be dishes to do, cleans ups to be done, laundry to be dealt with but it is okay to ignore those sometimes and treat ourselves to a day off. I do that, more often than you think. 🙂 My house isn’t well organized or spic and span clean, yeah true that gets to me more than I care to admit, but I am learning that it is okay to ‘not take care’ of those house chores to take care of my mental health. 🙂 Nicely articulated, Inderpreet. 🙂
Yes, it is okay not to care! The house will keep waiting but life will not.
Thank you for reading and sharing Vinitha.
Nice one, I still get a little depressed on sunday’s everyone is relaxing and I am still washing, ironning and banishing the dust bunnies,guess what I discovered http://www.flylady.net who helped me organize myself it made life much better.
So true, Inderpreet. I feel that a woman is constantly working. To take breaks, she must solicit her partner or children’s help over the weekend to cook and take over some chores. Also taking vacations regularly will give her a much-needed break.
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