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How should one deal with a partner's mental illness? This insightful article has thoughtful suggestions on dealing with tricky times.
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How should one deal with a partner’s mental illness? This insightful article has thoughtful suggestions on dealing with tricky times.
If 1 in 4 people in the world will suffer from some form of mental illness, it impacts every 4th couple in this world, if not more.
Hopefully, this will be reason enough for society to look at the subject of mental illnesses a lot more seriously. Yes, relationships fail irrespective of illnesses. But they also do fail because of ignorance (deliberate or otherwise) towards the subject of mental illnesses. If only we could look at someone suffering from a mental illness as just another patient.
In no way do any of my posts mean to make myself and others like me sound like victims. A person with diabetes or high blood pressure is not regarded as a victim. Similarly, neither should someone with depression or schizophrenia. All one is trying to do is spread awareness, put forth a different perspective and let the reader ponder over a few facts.
A diabetes patient needs to be careful with their diet, stress levels, medication, and certain other lifestyle choices. Haven’t we seen partners support each other through this? There is empathy from every concerned party. In such cases, abandonment of the patient by his/her partner is frowned upon by the society. The same society insists a man/woman leave her partner in case they are diagnosed with a mental illness. Why?
Be thoughtful: replace the word ‘depression’ in any situation with the word ‘diabetes’ before displaying any strong reaction(s).
Disclosure is tricky business There is, of course, no simple answer to the question. Disclose, and you run the risk of being rejected straight off. Who wants a mentally troubled partner in this already troubled life? Yes, this could happen with disclosure of any kind of illness. When you disclose, you are giving someone ammunition. Do not disclose, and I believe the risk is bigger.
When you disclose, you are giving someone ammunition. Do not disclose, and I believe the risk is bigger.Never miss real stories from India's women.Register Now
When you disclose, you are giving someone ammunition. Do not disclose, and I believe the risk is bigger.
It is important for those with a mental illness to be understood. Not being understood definitely makes things worse. And most importantly, we deserve to be with someone who will love us as a whole. Right?
Statistics say 90 per cent of marriages in which one partner is suffering from Bipolar Disorder end in divorce. That is 5.7 million people on earth. In the earlier ages, those with a mental illness like Bipolar Disorder were termed as ‘difficult partners’, and life still went on. Today with diagnoses and names to every condition, it is easier for us to walk out of a difficult relationship without anyone raising an eyebrow. True? Please think about it.
Pic credt: Melvin_Es (Used under a CC license)
The power of stories to inspire change made me turn into a storyteller. I write on 2 topics that need a very clear shift in attitude – ‘Being single in India’ & ‘Stigma attached to mental read more...
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If a woman insists on her prospective groom earning enough to keep her comfortable, she is not being “lazy”. She is just being practical, just like men!
When an actress described women as “lazy” because they choose not to have careers and insist on only considering prospective grooms who earn a lot, many jumped to her defence.
Many men (and women) shared stories about how “choosy” women have now become.
One wrote in a now-deleted post that when they were looking for a bride for her brother, the eligible women all laid down impossible conditions – they wanted the groom to be not more than 3 years older than them, to earn at least 50k per month, and to agree to live in an independent flat.
Ms. Kulkarni, please don’t apologise ‘IF’ you think you hurt women. Apologise because you got your facts wrong. Apologise for making sexual harassment a casual joke.
If Sonali Kulkarni’s speech on most modern Indian women being lazy left me shocked and enraged, her apology post left me deeply saddened.
I’d shared my thoughts on her problematic speech in an earlier article. So, I’ll share why I felt Kulkarni’s apology post was more damaging than her speech.
If her speech made her an overnight hero among MRAs, sexists, and people who were awed by her dramatic words, then her apology post made her a legendary saint.
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