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In India, no doubt everyone is aware of female infanticide. Girl babies are killed off by their parents/relatives, fearing that the child would only be an unnecessary burden. Even as social activists are fighting hard to eliminate this evil, of late a spate of baby killings is being reported in the UAE.
Among several such instances, look at this case where a woman before boarding a flight out of the country, not only gave birth in the Dubai International Airport‘s toilet, but also strangled her newborn infant with the umbilical cord and then dumped him in the dustbin. Hardly a month later, officials found a dead foetus in an airplane trash bag in the bathroom of a plane from the UAE to the Philippines. Close on the heels of this, yet another 6-month old foetus was found wrapped in toilet paper aboard another flight. This is all in addition to the many number of infants abandoned in rubbish bins and street corners.
My first reaction upon reading about these occurrences was, “How could a mother possibly do such a thing to her own child? She should have been more careful not to get pregnant in the first place, failing which she should have faced the consequences.” But delving just a little deeper, I realized how simplistic and naive my view was.
In a country where having sexual relations out of wedlock – whether one is married or single and whether it is consensual or not – is a crime punishable by law, these incidents may be termed shocking or even gruesome, but it is hardly surprising. Many of these women are people who come to earn their living under questionable circumstances. Living far away from home, lonely and neglected they often get involved in affairs. When even victims of date rape are hesitant to report the incident to authorities for fear of being jailed, it is no wonder that these women chose to keep mum as they risk being kicked into jail if their affairs become known. In such a situation, neither can they openly seek medical guidance, psychological help or even medical insurance, because they have already crossed the law and the healthcare practitioner is supposed to report the case to the authorities.
Even if they somehow get medical help, in the UAE, abortion is not allowed except for “valid reasons” – the only valid reason apparently being danger to the mother’s life or in some rare cases, proven genetic defects. This in turn leads to another problem of quacks endangering the lives of many such young mothers by performing illegal abortions and offering abortion pills on the black market.
So what choice do these women really have? They cannot openly admit that they are pregnant out of wedlock and go ahead and have the child nor can they abort the pregnancy. The only option left is to go back home. Now here they are faced with another dilemma. Such women usually are not very well off to keep hopping on and off long-distance flights. They might also be bound by labour contracts that they need to fulfil. Plus even if they do return home, which would be developing countries like in the Indian sub-continent, Philippines or Africa, they would probably end up being stigmatized by society and shunned by their own families.
It is indeed very easy for us, as privileged spectators, to take up a morally erect standpoint. They should have practiced abstinence. But hey! They are just human. Yes, they should have been more careful – but you know what? Accidents happen all the time. Who doesn’t make mistakes? These desperate women, pushed into a corner by outdated laws and even more outdated societal attitudes, simply did what they had to do.
Childbirth can be an excruciating experience, even with the best of medical facilities, able doctors and supportive family and friends. Frankly, I am personally terrified of it. I can imagine how demanding and painful it must have been to all mothers. But I can’t even begin to imagine the extreme physical and mental agony that these women must have gone through, sitting all alone in a tiny airplane/airport toilet, giving birth to a child which was doomed to die from the very fateful moment of conception.
Anne John, a software engineer by training and freelance journalist by choice, is continuing her relationship with Women’s Web, this time as a Digital Publishing Trainee. She envisions it to be a mutually rewarding one!
Anne John loves to play with words and calls herself a reader, writer, explorer & dreamer. She has a wide range of interests and has recently jumped onto the Mommy Vlogger bandwagon! read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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