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So, one of the guys at my office got married about a month ago. He comes to meet up with me and I say hello and congrats and blah blah blah and then ask him, has your wife joined back at work? He says yes.
RM: Wow..that’s nice..hope her timings are not too hectic, na?
He: Nah, similar to mine. She reaches home about 10 minutes later.
RM: Sahi man, you guys must be freaking out after that na!
He: No yaar, we are just at home. She cooks food and I eat and then we go to bed.
RM: So, what do you do to help her?
He: Help? What help?
RM: Well…you know in cooking and all…
He: Why should I help her? She can do it herself na!
RM: What?! Poor girl, she travels more than you, has the same timings as yours and you don’t help her!
He: So what? My mom managed with her job and giving food to my dad, my sisters and me.
RM: What?! (by this time, I am pretty much irritated)
He: This generation of girls do such nakhras and nataks. They can’t manage everything on their own and then they want their husbands to help them.
RM: What nonsense…firstly, stop comparing your wife to your mom. I agree your mom may have done things by herself without your dad’s help, but that doesn’t mean you don’t help your wife. What’s the excuse?
He: Why should I help her? If my mom can do it, she can do it as well without my help.
By this time, I was so furious, that I decided that talking to him was of no point..Since I was at the office, I couldn’t even shout. I just said, ‘Thank God you have a working mom, she will understand your wife so much better.’
He: Yes, my mom doesn’t let her do much around the house. I keep telling ma to let her work, but ma also helps her
RM (Thanking his mom mentally): Your mom has a lot more sense than you!
He: What did you say?
RM: Nothing, let’s not talk on this topic…I don’t agree with your logic.
He: I know, your poor husband, he helps you out so much.
RM: He has to na…I work longer hours than him and travel three times the distance.
He: So what? you take advantage of his goodness
At this point, I didn’t know whether to slap him or whip him. So I said, let’s not talk about me and my husband. He is more than glad to help me and he enjoys the cooking, chopping, cutting, taking care of R and all that…If he had been like you, I think I would have left him long ago.
As soon as I said this, his face changed. I started talking about the weather and all that and then he left, but deep inside, some part of me is hurt. I feel sorry for his wife and I am furious with myself for not being able to convince him to help his wife despite his mom being there…his mom needs help as well na…
He may have been joking (maybe), I don’t know, but it just irked me so much and I feel frustrated!
R’s Mom is a working mother in Mumbai trying to balance work, home and baby. Learning the ropes of new motherhood and wanting to spend more time with baby. Running to catch up with read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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