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So, one of the guys at my office got married about a month ago. He comes to meet up with me and I say hello and congrats and blah blah blah and then ask him, has your wife joined back at work? He says yes.
RM: Wow..that’s nice..hope her timings are not too hectic, na?
He: Nah, similar to mine. She reaches home about 10 minutes later.
RM: Sahi man, you guys must be freaking out after that na!
He: No yaar, we are just at home. She cooks food and I eat and then we go to bed.
RM: So, what do you do to help her?
He: Help? What help?
RM: Well…you know in cooking and all…
He: Why should I help her? She can do it herself na!
RM: What?! Poor girl, she travels more than you, has the same timings as yours and you don’t help her!
He: So what? My mom managed with her job and giving food to my dad, my sisters and me.
RM: What?! (by this time, I am pretty much irritated)
He: This generation of girls do such nakhras and nataks. They can’t manage everything on their own and then they want their husbands to help them.
RM: What nonsense…firstly, stop comparing your wife to your mom. I agree your mom may have done things by herself without your dad’s help, but that doesn’t mean you don’t help your wife. What’s the excuse?
He: Why should I help her? If my mom can do it, she can do it as well without my help.
By this time, I was so furious, that I decided that talking to him was of no point..Since I was at the office, I couldn’t even shout. I just said, ‘Thank God you have a working mom, she will understand your wife so much better.’
He: Yes, my mom doesn’t let her do much around the house. I keep telling ma to let her work, but ma also helps her
RM (Thanking his mom mentally): Your mom has a lot more sense than you!
He: What did you say?
RM: Nothing, let’s not talk on this topic…I don’t agree with your logic.
He: I know, your poor husband, he helps you out so much.
RM: He has to na…I work longer hours than him and travel three times the distance.
He: So what? you take advantage of his goodness
At this point, I didn’t know whether to slap him or whip him. So I said, let’s not talk about me and my husband. He is more than glad to help me and he enjoys the cooking, chopping, cutting, taking care of R and all that…If he had been like you, I think I would have left him long ago.
As soon as I said this, his face changed. I started talking about the weather and all that and then he left, but deep inside, some part of me is hurt. I feel sorry for his wife and I am furious with myself for not being able to convince him to help his wife despite his mom being there…his mom needs help as well na…
He may have been joking (maybe), I don’t know, but it just irked me so much and I feel frustrated!
R’s Mom is a working mother in Mumbai trying to balance work, home and baby. Learning the ropes of new motherhood and wanting to spend more time with baby. Running to catch up with read more...
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A feminist man sometimes seems like an oxymoron, but maybe there are some out there. How is it to be married to a feminist man?
How is it to be married to a feminist man?
This is a working list. Will keep adding to it.
Do you also have a feminist man at home? And if yes, what is it to be married to him? Do share.
"There is a story and a vision which makes us gravitate towards cinema. Even as we worked as assistants on ads, we realised that cinema was our true calling," say Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh Raseen.
The Railway Men. Mili. Cuttputli. The Diplomat. Bade Miyan Chote Miyan. And more…
Let me introduce to you the talented designer duo who have worked on these, and can be considered today’s upcoming costume designers for the screen. Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh.
Having studied at NIFT, Gunpreet Kaur Mann sent her portfolio out to several designers. Her first gig was as an assistant stylist with Manoshi and Rushi, who also happen to be a designer duo. She worked on an ad film starring Saif Ali Khan and eventually landed a full time job with designer Vikram Phadnis. Years of experience as assistant costume designer followed, which eventually led her to getting a break.
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