What Is HER Choice?

Here are two incidents which I heard about which made me wonder if we are really moving towards equality between men and women..for every one positive story I hear, there seem to be two not-so-positive ones.


This lady had recently lost her father..not even a month had passed by. She was 8 months pregnant. and her in laws wanted her to go through the God-Bharai ceremony…She didn’t want it because she didn’t feel mentally and emotionally very great..after all she had just lost her father. But in-laws were insistent. Her husband was supporting her. He said, who on earth, would want to have a ceremony when mentally you are so upset.

In laws gave back the argument about how he was their only son and they would never have this ceremony ever again in their lives. The ceremony had got cancelled when the girl’s father expired.

She conceded. Decided its better to just go on with the ceremony than try and convince them not to go ahead with it.

Husband and she wanted a simple ceremony with only the pooja. In laws wanted to call the relatives. Another confusion and finally she agreed to that as well.


She was very successful in her career when she got married. When she had a baby, she quit her job to take care of the baby, in laws and grand mother in law. Now her baby is 4 years and she wants to go back to work. But in laws are not too keen and husband is not too supportive.

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First they say go back to work and once she starts searching for a job, they say, ‘no no spend some time with your child first’ 

She says, let them decide what they want me to do.

I ask ‘what do YOU want to do?’

She says ‘Does my opinion even matter? If I want to live with them in peace, I would rather just let it be.’

Many may come back to me on this post saying ‘why weren’t the ladies fighting back? Why were they agreeing to it?’

Unfortunately, both of them seem to have been brought up with a view that do as your husband’s family wants and life just gets easier.

But, does it?


About the Author

Rs Mom

R’s Mom is a working mother in Mumbai trying to balance work, home and baby. Learning the ropes of new motherhood and wanting to spend more time with baby. Running to catch up with read more...

30 Posts | 141,892 Views

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