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What’s the Big Deal?

Posted: February 4, 2011

While juggling multiple roles, don’t forget you are important too.  Make yourself a priority because no one else will with #KhayaalRakhna

– If I ask my husband to open the cooker and peel the potatoes while I pick up my daughter from daycare and come home at 7.30 in the night?

– If my husband washes the clothes in the machine and dries it out?

– If my husband keeps some khichdi for me on the day I am sick

– If my husband eats whatever I give him and it may not be the standard dal, roti, two subjis and rice and etc etc

I am getting bugged at this attitude. I am considered ‘lucky’ because I have a husband who ‘apparently’ is very ‘adjusting’ to my whims and fancies and doesnt ‘demand’ anything special from me in terms of food… and he ‘helps’ me out in case I get stuck in traffic

People don’t seem to understand that firstly my husband doesnt ‘mind helping‘ me; his work place is about 20 minutes from home while mine is about 2 hours from home, that he doesn’t get up at 4.45 in the morning to start his day and he doesn’t do me any ‘favor’ by doing what he can to help ease my work load.

Gosh, these ladies in my office are really getting me mad! I have been brought up in a household where my dad did as much work as mom in the kitchen and my brother had to do whatever I did – including washing the vessels, cleaning the sink, cleaning up the table after dinner or lunch and even making chapatis and cutting vegetables..

Sometimes I really wish I had a son..not for anything gender wise, just so that I could train him to be a perfect guy who does his own stuff including washing, cleaning, sweeping, swabbing, cooking and then show this damn world that it doesn’t need to be only girls.

I mean WTH…I hate it when people tell me that your husband is helpful. He has to be! He doesn’t have a choice right…he needs to help me because I work much more than he does honestly – in terms of travel which can be life sapping in Mumbai, in terms of cooking which I do in the morning..and not that he does the entire cooking..he just helps with some bits…but no, he is hailed in my lunch group as ‘the husband all girls should be blessed with’ and all that…

Oh please! It’s really getting on to my nerves…

So these ladies have husbands who don’t do anything at home…well, that’s your loss but don’t bug me by saying that I am lucky and all that. I think it’s important that your husband does his share if you are going out and trying to make an equal contribution to the house finances…well, even if not equal, at least you are contributing.

And I overhear these aunties who are really sad that their sons have to work at their houses because their daughters-in-law are not able to cope up with work and children..and these aunties are working women..how can they be so judgemental..and has anyone asked the guys what they think?

I hear my husband grumble when I tell him to do something..but he does it…totally does it..and well, if my mom gave me work when I was reading the newspaper I would grumble too! So I assume that his grumbling is more to do with the fact that he needs to move away from reading the newspaper or watching his ManU match..than with NOT  helping me..he wants to help me…

Do these old ladies realise that guys may WANT to help their wives because they believe in equality? I seriously give up!

R’s Mom is a working mother in Mumbai trying to balance work, home and

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