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– If I ask my husband to open the cooker and peel the potatoes while I pick up my daughter from daycare and come home at 7.30 in the night?
– If my husband washes the clothes in the machine and dries it out?
– If my husband keeps some khichdi for me on the day I am sick
– If my husband eats whatever I give him and it may not be the standard dal, roti, two subjis and rice and etc etc
I am getting bugged at this attitude. I am considered ‘lucky’ because I have a husband who ‘apparently’ is very ‘adjusting’ to my whims and fancies and doesnt ‘demand’ anything special from me in terms of food… and he ‘helps’ me out in case I get stuck in traffic
People don’t seem to understand that firstly my husband doesnt ‘mind helping‘ me; his work place is about 20 minutes from home while mine is about 2 hours from home, that he doesn’t get up at 4.45 in the morning to start his day and he doesn’t do me any ‘favor’ by doing what he can to help ease my work load.
Gosh, these ladies in my office are really getting me mad! I have been brought up in a household where my dad did as much work as mom in the kitchen and my brother had to do whatever I did – including washing the vessels, cleaning the sink, cleaning up the table after dinner or lunch and even making chapatis and cutting vegetables..
Sometimes I really wish I had a son..not for anything gender wise, just so that I could train him to be a perfect guy who does his own stuff including washing, cleaning, sweeping, swabbing, cooking and then show this damn world that it doesn’t need to be only girls.
I mean WTH…I hate it when people tell me that your husband is helpful. He has to be! He doesn’t have a choice right…he needs to help me because I work much more than he does honestly – in terms of travel which can be life sapping in Mumbai, in terms of cooking which I do in the morning..and not that he does the entire cooking..he just helps with some bits…but no, he is hailed in my lunch group as ‘the husband all girls should be blessed with’ and all that…
Oh please! It’s really getting on to my nerves…
So these ladies have husbands who don’t do anything at home…well, that’s your loss but don’t bug me by saying that I am lucky and all that. I think it’s important that your husband does his share if you are going out and trying to make an equal contribution to the house finances…well, even if not equal, at least you are contributing.
And I overhear these aunties who are really sad that their sons have to work at their houses because their daughters-in-law are not able to cope up with work and children..and these aunties are working women..how can they be so judgemental..and has anyone asked the guys what they think?
I hear my husband grumble when I tell him to do something..but he does it…totally does it..and well, if my mom gave me work when I was reading the newspaper I would grumble too! So I assume that his grumbling is more to do with the fact that he needs to move away from reading the newspaper or watching his ManU match..than with NOT helping me..he wants to help me…
Do these old ladies realise that guys may WANT to help their wives because they believe in equality? I seriously give up!
R’s Mom is a working mother in Mumbai trying to balance work, home and baby. Learning the ropes of new motherhood and wanting to spend more time with baby. Running to catch up with read more...
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
As long as teachers are competent in their job, and adhere to the workplace code of conduct, how does it matter what they do in their personal lives?
A 30 year old Associate Professor at a well-known University, according to an FIR filed by her, was forced to resign because the father of one of her students complained that he found his son looking at photographs of her, which according to him were “objectionable” and “bordering on nudity”.
There are two aspects to this case, which are equally disturbing, and which together make me question where we are heading as a society.
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