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Being a mother is already a challenge in itself, can't we stop being so harsh on ourselves and embrace our imperfections?
Being a mother is already a challenge in itself, can’t we stop being so harsh on ourselves and embrace our imperfections?
“I think I should just forget being a good mother never mind a perfect one” I thought to myself as I lay next to my six year old son on the hospital bed when he was admitted for acute stomach infection and was being treated with strong antibiotics for the same. And this is not just one such incident but many a times I find myself struggling with my son, whether it is getting him ready in time for school, making him finish his meals or keeping a check on his school assignments, all of it possesses a challenge that in case I am unable to meet, it leaves me feeling incomplete and dissatisfied.
Why do most of us try so hard to be perfect? Since time immemorial, women have been taught to play the role of a mother, daughter, or a sister to perfection. Slightest of imperfection and there you go , everything goes for a toss. We all desire to be the best moms to our kids, but in our efforts to be so we often end up being so to say a little vulnerable and easily get perturbed by all the demands that our little ones throw at us.
Being an educationist and a hands on mother I myself face many a situation when I am unable to meet each and every of my son’s demands and I am sure you all as mothers experience the same. There is a constant guilt in our minds. There are moments when we are not consistent , too exhausted from the days work, social commitments, deadlines to meet or probably a more demanding younger child. Well! Whatever might be the reason, with children we are still learning and going wrong at times.
One of my friend Radhika, who is a full time mother of two and has an additional responsibility of looking after aged in-laws, often finds herself overcome with guilt in case she is unable to meet her 6 year old’s needs. She recalls one such time when she missed her daughter’s important school activity and her teacher was quick to send a note in the diary. On another occasion, Radhika forgot to pick her daughter at the bus stop due to her 2 year old’s vaccination and the little girl was dropped back to school. A frantic call from the teacher who was luckily still at school left Radhika perturbed. She immediately rushed to the school only to find her little girl waiting in the lobby. Radhika couldn’t curse herself enough and was left feeling indignant.
Situations like these can really overpower us and often leave us mentally drained and feeling week. In today’s demanding world one needs to understand that it is not quiet possible to balance everything and there will be times when we my have to let go of our desire to be perfect at all times. Unrealistic expectations, comparison with others, and not being able to compromise with our own shortcomings can often lead to low self esteem and lack of belief and confidence in one’s self.
In times like these it is important to find ways to let your self off the hook. That includes adjusting your expectations, a little me time, and most importantly, being okay with little imperfections here and there.
Image source: pixabay
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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