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Yes, you read that right! The other woman in my husband’s life and I thank God for her existence! Want to know who it is? Read on!
The concept of the other woman in our country is quite dreaded or subjected to hatred. But here the other woman who crowns my husband’s life is someone for whom I have anything but hatred. She is someone who inspires me, teaches me to love and only love people around me. She by her attributes deviates from a relationship that is so controversial in our country, by bringing in a great sense of joy and happiness.
The other woman whom I am referring here is my husband’s mother, my mother in law (the relation who is expected to be anything but good) or Amma as we all lovingly address her.
Post marriage, a few of my friends and acquaintances had instilled in me a belief that when you enter your husband’s or in laws’ house, you are already a stranger primarily due to biological reasons, more so when you are from a culture that isn’t theirs! So as a bride I was quite apprehensive if not unhappy, but Amma was the one who came to my rescue each time. Till date the ritual goes unbroken; sometimes I feel I am better understood by her than my own mother or my husband.
This write-up may not go down well with many, who by virtue of either their experience or by assumptions, may label me as too idealistic. But there can’t be anything more realistic than this post.
Amma stays far away from any negative, stereotypical notions that are associated with a “mother in law“. She is a calm and warm person, very modern in her thoughts. She exudes love and care.
The discussions that we both have always end up opening new ideas for me, making me believe in goodness again. It might sound funny or strange to some when I say, Amma does not understand the meaning of jealousy! She is perhaps one of those few people who believe that humans can’t be evil. If they seem to be, they are the victims of circumstances. I often ask her to be on her guard with strangers, but all in vain! For Amma is herself, who in these 60 years of her life, has always believed in human nature.
Being the first born in the family makes me quite a favorite with my parents, wherein I have the liberty and space to share every bit of my life (which I have done) with them. But now, I feel Amma has gradually yet quite deftly taken up a major chunk of my mother’s share in acting as my guide, friend, someone who is a one stop solution for me. Amma acts as the referee, whose final warning makes it essential that my husband and I stop any argument. And let me tell you something here, she never has a biased approach, a rarity these days.
The title rightly suggests, “The other woman in my husband’s life”, for she is someone whom I love to acknowledge and accept. For she is someone who has raised such a gentleman and I can’t thank her enough. The reason that I am subjected to immense love and respect is all because Amma has nurtured my husband to believe in so. Today if my husband is an exemplary figure amongst his peers, is all because of his upbringing.
Amma’s life has had its share of ups and downs but she has remained undeterred; her patience and fortitude has stood the test of time. She has not been quite privileged or celebrated in her life but that does not prevent her from being happy in my happiness.
The friends and acquaintances who had cautioned me about the inevitable change in relationship dynamics post marriage, could not survive the test of time but Amma has. Thus being undaunted, I unfriended such folk and befriended the ones who saw the goodness and genuity in my Amma’s eyes.
People ask me don’t I love my own biological mother? Oh yes I do, I surely do. But is it weird if I love my mother in law and take both my mother’s and her name in the same breath? Who challenges that? And why would anyone do that?
Amma, the other vital woman in my husband’s life, I can never thank you enough for raising the man of my dreams. You are a constant reminder that it is not always the relationships based on blood that are the happiest, there are some outside, built by people like you, who accept others and turn them into their own, smile in their happiness and love them no matter what.
Amma, I thank God for being so biased and sending you for us, to be the best mother my husband could ask for but more than that, the best friend that I could ever dream of.
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