I Am Happy You Refuse To Be Like Me, Dear Daughter…!

I wish and hope for you to be your own person, living life the way you want to, and not "be like" anyone else because it is expected.

Dear Mumma (that’s what I lovingly address my daughter as),

You made a very witty remark just the other day. I clearly remember while I was petting you and lovingly claiming that both of our noses look similar I was immediately thwarted by your disapproval. I was quite intrigued and hence asked you, “Don’t you wish to be like Maa or Papa when you grow up?” Pat came your reply, “I want to be like myself and not like anyone else!”

I would not lie, I was quite impressed with your prudence at such a tender age! And why not? Why do you need to become like us? The fact that we eventually become like our fathers or mothers is now passé!

I would be quite content if you do not turn out to be like me

There are times when I cannot even break an egg perfectly for an omelette or I find it overtly difficult to wake up early besides messing up other things as well.

Now these might sound hilarious /stupid /insignificant however aren’t these deemed as the real qualities of a woman? Isn’t she supposed to churn out the “perfect rotis” for her family? Isn’t she supposed to remain the most ideal individual despite being surrounded by the most non-idealistic circumstances? The answers to both these questions and many like these would be unfortunately “yes”. Thus it stands imperative that you surely do not take after me.

Also, when you refuse to grow up to be like me I agree with you whole heartedly. I really wish you to be more assertive, calmer and would want you to develop the attitude of taking life with a pinch of salt at times. I really wish you to grow up to say “no” to people or situation that make you uncomfortable or cause inconvenience to you. I really foresee you having more accomplishments than regrets as you age.

I already see you handle your younger self better than I did

I really wish you do not have to have greater trade offs in a bid to fulfill your aspirations. I honestly do not see you as a mere agent of fulfilling my unfinished dreams and in the process compromise your own!

Mumma, your remark also makes me look forward to a life that’s less more complicated than what I have been through. Mostly these have resulted from my inability to prioritize myself over others. I have always been too engrossed to make others around me happy and in the process found nothing for myself. So if you think you would do otherwise I am completely game!

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Another reason that would make me immensely happy is if you do not become like me you wouldn’t have to hear, “it’s in the genes!” Who says that? And why should even someone say that?

More often than not my sister’s and my errors are/were reprimanded as being “genetically derived” from my mother! And this is not something I would want you to hear from anyone.

Thus if you refuse to take after me I would be the happiest mother who would want you to carve out a path that’s truly not been travelled upon before!

With love
Maa

Image source: by shylendrahoode from Getty Images Signature Free for Canva Pro

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Joyadrita

A dire penchant for words, can summarize my life as “My pen bleeds my life”! read more...

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