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So when Aparna mailed me about this Story of Mum series, and asked to write, I jumped. It was such a cool collection of all the wonderful hats that moms all around the globe wore. They may struggle, flourish, curse, glow in the duties and happiness that comes with working through responsibilities of being a mom, but do they do. ..and even enjoy telling a tale or two along the way.
As I looked through various mommy blogs and pictures and descriptions of how each mom looked at themselves, I realized we were all dreamers and chasers (of our dreams). Goals included, but we must first dream and hope to act on the dream for it to become a goal and then one day reach it. That’s pretty much the one commonality that every mom-woman shares. Not that others don’t have goals or dreams, but it seemed like being a mom just made you crave and want to dream and achieve that goal with just a little more determination. I suppose it could partly be due to the fact that “time” is of essence and doing something, anything for one’s own self becomes that much more precious.
..coz well, we are all on a journey. On this long train ride through life and we meet people who hop on and hop off at various stations of our journey, and who leave us just a bit changed. Each experience in raising a child, learning how to, and in the process growing but never stopping – it is a journey. One that we cannot stop even if we want to, because that is how a relationship works. Even with our own selves.
I am a mum and …am also a child.
..coz as much as I am a mother, am a child in a few ways.
Mothers are supposed to know it all (at least most of whatever they need to know coz they are adults) and a child is supposed to learn from the adult.
However, with time, I have realized that the child is indeed the father of the man. A child teaches in his/her own innocent manner the value of priority, sacrifice, patience, responsibility and courage even.
When the child screams for a diaper change in the middle of an important call with work, you excuse yourself and go change that diaper. The teenager’s college expense is more important than the holiday that you have been dreaming of since you were a teenager. To wait your time for them to grow up and be independent so you can pick up the pieces of your life and start to tend your dreams is patience. Responsibility is waking up at 5:30 am (after just 4 hours of sleep after work, and assignments at that part-time degree you were working on) to pack lunches and make sure the shoes are on top of the vent, so they are warm and toasty when they step out into sub-zero temperatures to school. To jump into cold water is and learn how to swim as an adult is courageous just so you can take your child to that water park and he/she insists that you go along to the deep end.
There is more, but yes, am a child, forever learning, dreaming, imagining, laughing and living life sometimes as a mom, and sometimes as a child.
Sometimes I confuse myself, but thank heavens my three children will always remind me. They got my back alright.
Rads lives in the suburbs of Washington DC along with her husband, three kids and
Iam reading a book titled 1-2-3 Magic written by Thomas.W.Phelan Ph.d and it is such a great resource for parents and for me , who is a grandma. Believe me, as much as we feel overwhelmed while raising kids from infancy , the moment our kids leave home and go to College/Dorm, we are waiting for them to come home for the next holday ! Thus, we need kids as much as they need us – it is unique bonding, sometimes rocky and frustrating and at other times simply wonderful and delightful.
Thanks so much for taking part in our virtual tour, Rads – what a lovely idea, of us as mothers discovering our inner children as parents. We do learn so much from our children in all the ways you describe – and we are also gifted with the opportunity to play, to explore, to experience life afresh through their eyes – the spirit of a child within us reawakens. Thank you.
Well said, Pippa! Child like innocence is essential to enter the kingdom of Heaven. Don’t you see how little kids enjoy everything around them and when we parents also join in the fun, the kids become all the more excited. I regularly play make believe games with my grand daughter.
Thanks Pippa and Vinatha – I believe different roles that we play i life allows us different perspectives and maybe paves the way for appreciation. Sometimes despite it all, we get caught up in our lives but at least if we act on the opportunity to try, the experience is worth it!
Thanks for the initiative Pippa – i loved it 🙂
We learn from our children much more than we ever teach them and feel proud about it too. These days my grandchildren teach me like how to make pancakes and Smoothies that they want to be packed for a picnic and I feel puffed up and proud.
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