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If her MIL had accepted her with some affection, wouldn't they have built a mutually happier relationship by now?
The incident took place ten years ago.
Smita could visit her mother only in summers when her daughter had school holidays. Her daughter also enjoyed meeting her Nani, and both of them had done their reservations for a week. A month before their visit, her husband told her, “My mom is coming for 4-5 months!”
Smita shuddered. She knew the repercussions. She would have to hear sarcastic comments from her mother-in-law for visiting her mother. She may make these comments directly only a bit, but her servants would be flooded with the words, “How horrible she is! She leaves me and goes!”
Smita used to get affected by this. Her husband would say it doesn’t matter, but it did.
One day, after her mother-in-law had come, when Smita went for a walk, she met one of her friends, who said, “Your mother-in-law seems to be quite a character. When I asked her today where you were, she replied that she is getting ready for visiting her mother. She further added that my daughter-in-law always does it whenever I come. The words were uttered in a very rude manner and I didn’t quite like it!”
Smita was flabbergasted. She knew that her MIL always went for a month to her own mother’s house after her marriage till her mother was alive. Moreover, she was going to be with them for 4-5 months. Talking about her like this in front of her friends hurt her. Was she slipping into some kind of mental trauma due to continuous comments like this?
The mental tortures by her MIL had finally made her quite strong, especially after the hurt had reached a certain point. She learnt to ignore her. Her words didn’t affect Smita anymore. After all, she was never there for her when she needed someone! Nobody in her extended family was. During her major surgery, no one bothered about her. “Was it really a family?” she wondered and learnt to disregard everything they did or said.
In the moment when she had felt that her need was the most, it was her own parental family that had stood with her.
Her MIL is old now. She hasn’t still stopped making those nasty comments. She can’t connect to her at all.
One day, she was sitting and wondering, “Whose loss it really was? Had she been accepted as she was and a little affection showered up on her, would the condition be still the same? Wouldn’t she have loved to sit and chat with her, listen to her everyday woes and care for her?” After all, caring for everyone around was her forte!
Image source: a still from the film Badhai Ho
Neelam Saxena Chandra is an Engineering graduate from VNIT and has done her Post Graduation Diploma in IM&HRD and also in Finance. She has completed a summer course in Finance from London School of read more...
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A ‘thank you’ makes a lot of difference in the way any woman in your life sees herself in your eyes. It might even mean the world to her.
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It will mean the world to your mother if you answer her calls. If your sister seems lost give her a hug and assure her about her strengths. Tomorrow, there might come a day when you would have to make your daughter feel empowered with few words of wisdom every now and then. For the children to feel wanted and loved, you must be able to spare some quality time with your wife and be present in the moment.
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