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An act of kindness may not always appear to be nice, as much as a 'nice' act may not be actually kind. What matters is how you can do both.
You walk into a room, and someone compliments you on your dressing sense. It boosts your confidence. The picture from your vacation that you posted on Instagram fetches you some thousand plus likes along with tons of positive comments that leave you totally ecstatic! You are bowled over by the adjectives that describe you.
It is not unnatural to marvel at the kindness showered upon you! Hold on for a second: by any chance, are you confused between niceness and kindness? As much as it may sound cynical, it is wiser to not take every word literally.
Although we make the mistake of using the concepts interchangeably, being nice and practicing kindness are not always the same. We are taught to be nice and kind, but hardly do we reflect in depth on those two separate meanings.
Niceness is always associated with being pleasant, courteous, or agreeable. To sum it up, you do not want to offend the person or persons you are interacting with.
Kindness, on the other hand, is rooted in benevolence, and the act is performed with utmost sincerity and authenticity, expecting nothing in return. To cite an example, if you are voluntarily helping an aged person to carry bags of groceries home, you are being kind and nice at the same time.
Author Houston Kraft delves into the concept of kindness and beautifully articulates the differences between being nice and being kind. According to him, “kindness moves beyond feelings and conveniences”.
Elaborating on niceness, he writes, “The nice person often expects something in return for their actions. They seek gratitude from the recipient even if the person wasn’t expecting — or doesn’t want — what is being given.”
An act of kindness may not always appear to be nice. Imagine that you are in a gathering where someone who is not present is being discussed rather nastily. If you muster the courage to call out the people who are gossiping, you will inevitably end up being disliked. You have stood by your principles and have been kind towards the person who’s being attacked, but you do not look too nice here for speaking out your mind.
Well, welcome to reality, and do not expect the best of both worlds: to be honest and to be a people pleaser at the same time.
You will come across people who have always given a patient listening to your problems and offered their soothing words of comfort. They may have also come rushing in to help you out in times of need and difficulty. These are the ones who are not just nice and make you happy with their sweet words; they are kind as well.
It is heartwarming and encouraging to know how kindness fosters emotional and physical health.
Christmas is right around the corner, and the festive spirit fills the air. It is the far end of the year, and we are on the threshold, looking forward to new beginnings and brighter days ahead.
How do you intend to celebrate New Year’s Day? This is a question we ask one another.
We seek to usher in 2024 on a joyous note and enjoy it to the fullest. As we make our plans to ring in the new year, we need to look beyond the fun and festivity. When we ponder about the coming days, it is up to us to set a goal to continuously practice the values that touch the lives of those around us. Let us think about cultivating empathy and harnessing the power of kindness with a goal of building true and lasting human relationships on the edifices of selfless, unconditional love.
Here’s to wishing you all a wonderful holiday season and a happy, healthy, peaceful New Year!
Image source: by PeopleImages from Getty Images Signature Free for Canva Pro
Rashmi Bora Das is a freelance writer settled in the suburbs of Atlanta. She has a master’s degree in English from India, and a second master’s in Public Administration from the University of read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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