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So much being said and talked about this film, mind you, all good things! I personally found it like daily problems, apt and relatable issues being shown in typical grand Dharma style. I will not deny the fact that many incidents are thoughtfully shot, and stereotypes broken, which triggered the questioning and thinking in my head right then! Considering most have watched the film and I will not be blamed for spoilers, two incidents that I prominently remember are:
Poonam (character played by Kshiti Jog) eating cake and singing secretly:
I was left in a pool of thoughts, why do women have to either sacrifice their choices or execute them secretly? Being overweight and having a sweet tooth, she eats less at the dinner table and waits for everyone to sleep so that she can satisfy her cravings! How unfortunate is that! The moment she thinks of taking her passion ahead, she instantly feels guilty of being selfish. But Alia Bhatt backs her up and thankfully she manages to participate in a singing reality show finally! That in a real sense gave me hope.
This incident reminded me of an excellent food photographer and a dear friend who gave up on food photography, just because her in-laws thought posting pictures of food they eat is not good. A distant cousin of mine was stopped from dancing in her brother’s baraat because females who dance do not have good character. Being ambitious is far, if these small choices have to be compromised, women are living a rented life it seems.
When I started writing in 2018, I also initially compromised on sleep and did my writing work to meet the submission deadlines; But when I saw my health being impacted by the same, I started being vocal about boundaries and responsibilities.
Why is sacrifice and compromise a part of upbringing or rather in the DNA of women, I would like to ask? And when are we going to stop measuring goodness based on the amount of sacrifices or compromises a woman makes in a quest to fit into other’s definition of perfection, leaving her wishes and desires?
The other incident that left me numb was how carelessly we body shame by using nicknames like “Golu” and many others. She has a nice name already, but it starts with calling her Golu out of love and eventually leading to hurt her more in the second half of the movie. I did not find it wrong. We call others by the name we wish and out of love, but we should have confirmation of them not being hurt as well! Being identified based on appearance is not the right way to show affection. And yes, it hurts. I have heard an interview of Priyanka Chopra where she refers to being called “Kaali” due to her dusky complexion; Another name not acceptable! We should be a little sensible and thoughtful when we choose the names to call our loved ones affectionately, not every time and everyone is comfortable being called in a certain way.
Apart from these two, there are multiple incidents in this film that felt like a slap on the face of patriarchy, just that they could be shown happening to commoners rather than the big shots!
A mother, homemaker, self-published author, founder, and podcast host at Authoropod. read more...
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