Does Your Daughter Own A ‘Home’?

Moving back to what once was her parental home is not always the solution for many women torn apart in a marriage that botched up two lives, those once got united with big pomp and show!

In a profession with relationship counselling as my core, I feel blessed to speak at length with people not only in India, but also in countries across the globe. I have seen married couples going through immense pressure and tension on both sides in strife to keep their mutual lives ongoing sanely.

It is wrong to highlight that women suffer more. There are some issues in the world which have complete gender equality. Hence, to say that only women suffer in marital relations sounds partial.

However, when I connect with women of different origins and religions through my sessions, I do find, it is more challenging for the women to hold on to a failing marriage and a fragile home because she still has a long struggle to be economically independent or sufficiently earning to take care of herself in a fall-out whether she is still a wife or a mother to her children.

So much stigma!

Compromise to a certain extent for the sake of so many reasons is understandable. The most important ones among them are not having the courage to part ways! Social stigma, a length of societal queries, finances to keep life going the same way and most important where to go.

Moving back to what once was her parental home is not always the solution for many women torn apart in a marriage that botched up completely two lives those once got united with big pomp and show and the pledges of being partners for life!

As a life coach, at the most, I can help them maintain their emotional balance and give them the much-needed confidence and moral support to move on from the wounds of a separation or a marriage that stands no reason to be together any further.

When she decides to separate, where does she go to?

I do often think, after speaking with these very well-educated, well-spoken, independent women living in the most developed countries of the world, about the most challenging question with them. When the woman decides or is given the decision of going their separate ways, where to head while picking up her suitcases and a fragmented heart?

This makes me realize as a woman myself, we all do remain optimistic about our eternal love stories and family life, yet life is uncertain at every moment. It is good to be positive, but can you choose light and ignore darkness?

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This makes me often conclude that what if instead of mindlessly spending on our trousseau, larger than life marriage celebrations with uncountable-unnecessary expenditure, won’t it be wiser that every parent should build at least a 1 or a 2 bedroom home for their daughter?

Give her a space to live with dignity

So that if life ever throws bigger challenges on her, she can keep her head high, pick up her bags and pieces of life and move into her own ‘HOME WITH GRACE AND DIGNITY.’ Because sons already have their inherited homes, when life becomes difficult for them, they have the blessing in disguise of their own roofs.

In the glamorous world that we live in, I am one of the few who sees daily that virtual is an illusion. Real is not as beautiful as Instagram profiles. Hence, it is mindful to see life as it exactly happens.

Let our daughters have the power to exit from a meaningless marital chord; gracefully. A no rental no EMI space for her is the greatest gift that parents can give to their daughters. It doesn’t matter where she settles, she should know that the key to her dignified life and home rests with her forever!

Image source: Still from Thappad, edited on CanvaPro

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About the Author

Meenu Chopra

Meenu Chopra is a seasoned Life/Parent/Relationship Coach since over 20 years. Empanelled with renowned schools viz. Amity International, VIBGYOR-VIVA, KIIT group of colleges/Schools, DPS, GEMS International as a visiting consultant for read more...

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