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Dear Husband, Thank You For Proving Marriage Is About Caring!

On that fateful day when my medical diagnosis changed our lives forever, you were right there with me, are right here with me.

Dear Husband,

I don’t say this enough. Perhaps I rarely do. However, I want to say it now loud and clear, thank you. You have been my rock, my source of strength and resilience.

We were always an equal partnership, weren’t we?

From our office jobs, house admin, household chores, planning vacations to looking after the kids. We always shared everything equally. Of course, there were times when one would do more than the other.

However, this was not a long-term, permanent occurrence. Then on that fateful day when my medical diagnosis changed our lives forever, you were right there with me, are right here with me. Slowly, as my body began to desist, I was unable to contribute to our family in the same manner that I used to.

Driving, cooking, grocery shopping—  all these tasks began to take a toll on me. I would be slow or exhausted, but these had to be done and as if by magic they were carried out quietly and efficiently by you!

I constantly worried about how this imbalance in managing these responsibilities would affect you. Furthermore, I wondered whether you even remotely thought that you had been dealt a bad hand.

How wrong I was in my assumptions

For you are as good as gold. You seamlessly took on the tasks that I find cumbersome to do thanks to the unpredictability of the symptoms that I experience on a daily basis. So many times I have felt guilty to see you taking on more and more tasks, especially on days that I feel beaten.

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Not once have you complained when a chore has unexpectedly slid onto your own already full plate. Darling, you have been so wonderful that I truly feel privileged and honoured to be your wife.

On the day of our marriage, we encircled the holy fire seven times. Each circle around that fire signified everything that we meant to each other. On that day, it was merely a ritual that had to be observed.

However, today, after 12 years of marriage those vows make sense, so much more sense than they did on the day that we first abided by them.

The seven vows!

Food to nourish us — One

Health to sustain us —Two

Wealth to live comfortably —Three

Love and respect for each other — Four

Children, our beautiful family — Five

Longevity through life’s seasons — Six

Companionship forever more — Seven

 

The other day I was drying out the laundry. I had to take a little break as it was tiring. You asked me what I was doing just standing there by the landing, and before I could answer, you started helping out. This is despite you doing your fair share of chores.

Another moment that I will never forget is when we had to go out for dinner with friends and without even me asking you, you not only served me the food but also cut it for me so that I wouldn’t have to struggle with cutlery and become uncomfortable in a social situation.

You are extremely in tune with my needs, be it asking me to rest in the middle of the day to planning holidays that don’t end up overwhelming me. You pre-empt what I can and cannot do and always step in without me even asking for help.

Cutting the kids’ nails, helping them with shoelaces and coat buttons, building Lego and on and on and on. I could go on forever.

Not once have you complained about taking on more work. You carry on doing what needs to be done without making any fuss about it. I remember asking you how you do it all and expressed my gratitude for all that you do for me and our family.

You’d have done the exact same thing for me

Without blinking an eyelid, you looked at me and asked, “Isn’t what you are doing far more challenging? Fighting this degenerative condition day and night?. You went on to add, “Also, I know that you would have done the exact same thing for me if I was in your shoes and you in mine”.

At that moment, I was overcome with so much love and respect for you that I found it hard to articulate it into words.

However, today, I have managed to pen down a few lines which are merely the tip of the proverbial iceberg of the immense love I have for you in my heart:

Twelve years of marriage is symbolized by silk.

Spools of silken thread that were woven into my wedding saree,

Our youth as soft as silk as we embarked upon life’s adventures together.

Your voice silky smooth as you whispered sweet nothing’s into my ear,

The deep red silk kurta that you donned as you held our firstborn in your arms,

His soulful eyes now looking up at me, his silken curls like petals upon my chest.

An old silk saree that was disguised as a baby blanket, our second born auspiciously named.

My tears raining down that day our lives changed forever,

You’re holding me in your arms,

Our bond as strong as that silk woven into my wedding saree

Today, 12 years ago.

 

Love,

Your Lucky Wife

Image source: Triloks, via Getty Images Signature, free and edited on CanvaPro

 

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About the Author

Snehal is a freelance writer and poet based in London with her husband and two young children. Her writing primarily reflects her motherhood journey, memories of her own childhood and the essence of everyday moments. read more...

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