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My MIL has always bullied me. After my FIL’s demise, naturally her trips to our place have increased. I understand her need to get emotional support from her son. But I am not able to adjust.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, depression, and suicidal thoughts, and may be triggering for survivors.
Self love, self-respect, taking care of oneself etc are much talked about things in current times and for all the right reasons. I too believe in all of these. But it is coming at a cost to me. If I am giving importance to myself then someone I love is getting hurt. And I am a harsh critique of myself for I keep judging my actions all the time.
This leads to a lot of mess in my head, making me feel sad, withdrawn all the time. I do not see a way out of this. I want to love and spend time with people who matter to me. But somehow I am not able to do that. I do not like to fake emotions and hence clearly express how I feel especially to my husband. I have heard a lot that one should not be completely transparent with their spouse but then again, I am not able to refrain myself.
I do have issues with my mother-in-law. She is a very self-centric person who only cares to love herself. And life threw a big googly at me some time ago. Unfortunately, my father-in-law passed away last year, a very bad thing to happen with my husband’s family. Also, in the last one year my husband and I have drifted apart from each other. His intention is to balance both sides and I am very aware of the efforts he is putting in. But somehow things are not getting on track despite all efforts.
His mother is a very smart lady who knows to manipulate things for her own benefit. I do feel even today that my duty tells me to have my MIL stay with us but I have not been comfortable when she is around in the same house. Some sense of pause my life takes. And this feeling is real, I am not exaggerating this at all.
My husband feels that I am incompetent and incapable of managing this small thing. And now I feel completely stuck in life. On one side I don’t feel comfortable when she is around, on other hand I feel I am wrong for feeling like this. I love my husband but the package that he has brought with himself feels like a burden to me. I am sounding very selfish. But I feel so weird from within that I cannot explain. I do get suicidal thoughts.
I am the only child of my parents and have been brought in a decently progressive environment. My father had a concern with our marriage as my husband’s family is not very well off and we belonged to a business family. He finally overlooked this thing as my husband was a great person. Little did I realise then that his mother is going to compensate for all his goodness.
We have been married for two and a half years, and the first year of my marriage was like a horror story. I had never felt less welcomed at any point in my life. My MIL is an egoist, and she did not leave a chance to bully me. I have never received any mental/ emotional/ physical support from her till date. But I was still okay as I thought as long as she is staying away, I should be able to manage things.
But after my FIL’s demise, naturally her trips to our place have increased. I understand her need to get the emotional support from her son. But I am not able to adjust. My husband is saying I should ignore things which I am not able to.
People advise that you should keep negative people far away from your life. But I cannot do that. I am really in an ethical dilemma. What should I do?
Sometimes I think it would be better to die in an accident. What do I do?
If you or anyone you know is feeling depressed or suicidal, here are some of the helplines available in India. Please call. Aasra, Mumbai: 022-27546669 Sneha, Chennai: 044-2464 0050 Lifeline, Kolkata: 033-2474 4704 Sahai, Bangalore: 080-25497777 Roshni, Hyderabad: 040-66202000, 040-66202001 SPEAK2us – Tamilnadu 9375493754
Image source: Still from short film Sanskari Bahu/JK Chopra films via YouTube
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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