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A mother-in-law & daughter-in-law relationship does not have to be complex, intimidating or shaky. One can begin a positive relationship.
The mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship is one of the most critical relationships in any family structure, whether one is wealthy or poor.
The mother-in-law has been the primary caretaker of her family. She has sacrificed her own needs and wants for her son. Her son will always reflect the values and morality that she instilled in him and for him, she mostly has been a constant woman in his life.
However, when the son gets married and a new woman comes in the family, many mothers-in-law go through a difficult transition. The main reason being this inner fear that the new woman will change her household rules or create a distance between her and the son.
Although things do not have to be necessarily like that, but it appears that our desi mothers-in-law simply lack the necessary skills to navigate this new relationship with the daughter-in-law.
Instead of constantly reminding the DIL about everything the MIL has ‘sacrificed’ for her son while managing all other responsibilities perfectly without ever complaining, she can instead begin by trying to learn more about the new daughter-in-law.
A MIL can explore more about her DIL’s life, such as how was her upbringing or where her interests lie in.
A mother-in-law & daughter-in-law relationship does not have to be complex, intimidating or shaky. One can begin a positive relationship with their daughter-in-law by cultivating affection, compassion and respect for her.
The daughter-in-law deserves the same level of love and care that a son deserves. Her interests, career aspirations should be praised and encouraged as much as the son’s.
It is so important to understand that she is also someone’s child and her job is not to only serve her in-laws after marriage and follow the lifestyle endorsed by them.
By being a bit more understanding and flexible in attitude, a mother-in-law can support & establish an affectionate relationship with her daughter-in-law.
Similarly, when a daughter-in-law struggles with chores or childcare, instead of passing snarky comments like, ‘at your age, I managed everything on my own and never complained’ or ‘haven’t your mother taught you anything? You are no good’, will do no good.
If a mother-in-law sits down with the daughter-in-law and shares a cup of tea whilst listening to her grievances & offers useful insights from her life experience, it will develop a compassionate relationship between the two.
Finally, the last point is about respect.
Respect is an essential for any relationship. Without respect, no relationship would survive or thrive. Simply because the daughter-in-law is young or inexperienced, there is no need to make her feel inferior.
There is nothing above family harmony and cultivating a respectful relationship from both sides can only lead to lifelong happiness and peace for all.
Image credit: Still from Cadbury Dairy Milk, Badhti Dosti ke Naam /YouTube(for representational purpose only)
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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