Starting A New Business? 7 Key Points To Keep In Mind.
When partners support each other in their respective intellectual pursuits, it enriches their relationship. Like that of Virat Kohli and Anushka Sharma.
It’s time we acknowledge women’s intellectual contributions publicly. #CoupleGoals
Virat Kohli recently celebrated a milestone by scoring his first T20I century against Afghanistan. Chances are, if you’re on social media, you wouldn’t have missed the picture of him celebrating it by planting a kiss on his wedding ring.
The cricketer went through a difficult phase where he had a century drought that lasted almost 1000 days.
Talking about this tough time after the match, he dedicated the century to the love of his life, Anushka Sharma, and their daughter Vamika. Speaking about his challenging times, he mentions how Anushka stood by him in these difficult times and “put things in right perspective” (sic).
This is heartwarming, as Anushka has often been unfairly blamed for Virat’s unsatisfactory past performances, showing how some people view women as mere “distractions”.
It is well known that being a sportsperson isn’t always easy. They are considered to be on ‘national duty’ as they represent the country. Cricket is almost a religion in India, more than ‘just a sport’. One can imagine how the spouse would have had to step up on many occasions.
There have been multiple times when cricketers have even missed the birth of their child due to a tour or an important game. Again, Kohli is someone who broke the norm and took paternity leave to be with Anushka during the last leg of her pregnancy. Doing so, he had to miss the last 3 matches of the Indian tour to Australia in 2020. This was widely criticized and he was trolled heavily for choosing his family over ‘national duty’, contrary to what MS Dhoni did in 2015, missing the birth of his child.
I don’t mean to say that cricketers have never praised their wives. There have been multiple occasions where some cricketers have thanked their wives for the ‘sacrifices’ they had to make due to the nature of this game. While this is true, and women should definitely be given public credit for all the invisible labor they do, one does not often see the intellectual contribution that she makes.
So, when I read a dedication to a wife/mother that mentioned something other than the sacrifices she made, it feels like a step forward from what we assume women’s roles are. It is time that we stop portraying women as people incapable of doing anything other than ‘sacrificing’ for the family’s sake.
I am a stay-at-home mother by choice. Our circumstances did not allow me to return to work after the birth of my daughter, and this slowly extended to a 5-year hiatus in my career.
People often struggle to make small talk with me. Their inquiries are mostly about our children. Some people are ignorant enough to ask me how I “pass time”. Little they do know that if I had time to ‘pass’, I would be able to accomplish so much more!
Whereas, when I see the conversations that my husband has, I can see it start mostly with “How is work?”. The conversation then comfortably moves to current affairs, politics, finances, personal growth, and so on. Most people assume women are incapable of being intellectual beings and wouldn’t be able to contribute in any way to such topics.
Given that we are a nuclear family with 2 little kids, it is quite difficult for me and my husband to hold conversations during the day. Our favorite ritual post our kids’ bedtime is the long discussions we have about varied topics.
There have also been multiple times when my husband has asked my advice on his work issues. Being in a senior managerial position, he often faces situations where there is no one right thing to do, and he often requires perspective from another person to understand things better.
The intellectual connection that we both feel after we have such lengthy conversations is an unparalleled feeling. I feel a sense of accomplishment when he thanks me for giving an important perspective that helps him make crucial decisions.
Women often juggle so much more than their share, and their invisible mental load is ridiculously high. Isn’t this proof enough of them having good managerial and people skills? Trust me, if every woman had a good support system and our societal norms were evolved enough to distribute our domestic load evenly, our workspaces would see a lot more women leaders.
My husband was the one who showed me Kohli’s speech as he knew it would strike a chord with me. We also had a lengthy conversation about how women are seen in the public eye. It gave me a lot to think about and was the seed of this article.
When partners support each other in their respective intellectual pursuits, it enriches their relationship. That is what should be normalized, as opposed to a woman always having to understand and sacrifice her personal goals for others.
Image source: Instagram
An engineer turned SAHM of two who wants to be known beyond that. Passionate about words, parenting, making eco-friendly choices, feminism and lifelong learning. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
If a woman insists on her prospective groom earning enough to keep her comfortable, she is not being “lazy”. She is just being practical, just like men!
When an actress described women as “lazy” because they choose not to have careers and insist on only considering prospective grooms who earn a lot, many jumped to her defence.
Many men (and women) shared stories about how “choosy” women have now become.
One wrote in a now-deleted post that when they were looking for a bride for her brother, the eligible women all laid down impossible conditions – they wanted the groom to be not more than 3 years older than them, to earn at least 50k per month, and to agree to live in an independent flat.
Most of my women clients are caregivers—as mothers, wives and daughters. And so, they tend to feel guilty about their ambitions. Belief in themselves is hard to come by.
* All names mentioned in the article have been changed to respect client confidentiality.
“I don’t want to take a pay cut and accept the offer, but everyone around me is advising me to take up what comes my way,” Tanya* told me over the phone while I was returning home from the New Delhi World Book Fair. “Should I take it up?” She summed up her dilemma and paused.
I have been coaching Tanya for the past three months. She wants to change her industry, and we have been working together on a career transition roadmap.
Please enter your email address