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Why do women need to sacrifice to be loved? Only women who have faced abuse silently are considered worthy in our society.
We must have heard from our relatives and people from our older generation that a good woman or a good wife is the one who knows how to ‘adjust’.
We also must have come across conversations where patriarchs have often said things like “to maintain a good relationship, a woman must adjust” or “till the time things don’t go worse a woman should learn to adjust and shouldn’t go for judicial recourse.”
These casual patriarchal phrases raise many important questions: do women need to face the worse to get justice? Do women need to tolerate abuse from their partners till the time abuse doesn’t go extremely physical or sexual in nature? Do only women need to give up on their dreams and just look after their families?
Patriarchy apologists, of course, do praise some women in our society. These are only those women who unwillingly or willingly give up on their dreams and career in order to maintain a ‘happy’ family or women who stay with their cruel in laws. This proves that the more a woman sacrifices or the more a woman tolerates abuse, the more she is loved and the more she is considered as an ‘ideal woman’.
But the moment a woman stands up for herself, the moment she focuses on her dreams and career instead of caring about maintaining a family, the moment she stops adjusting, the same patriarchy apologists start slut shaming her, or even just shaming her for her choices.
In this case, she becomes a ‘bad example’ for all other women, just for standing up for her simple basic rights.
This also reminds us about how society has taught us that a mother only becomes ‘a true mother’ when she is sacrificial.
In India, people question a mother’s ‘motherhood’ even if she chooses to wear a western outfit. Do women now even have to sacrifice on their preferred clothes? Women wearing western clothes are seen ‘incapable’ of raising a child? How does a simple piece of fabric decide a woman’s worth?
Mothers are also judged by our patriarchal world for being in a particular profession, for example, those engaged in beauty and wellness, or into travelling. How does a mother’s profession makes her ‘less of a mother’?
It’s high time we stop romanticising women who suffer because of internalized patriarchy. The only thing our patriarchal society has to understand is that a woman’s personal choices are her own fundamental rights, and she can exercise them as and when she wants.
Image source: a still from Prega News ad/ YouTube
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Menopause is a reality in women's lives, so Indian workplaces need to gear up and address women's menopausal needs.
Picture this: A seasoned executive at the peak of her career suddenly grapples with hot flashes and sleep disturbances during important meetings. She also battles mood swings and cognitive changes, affecting her productivity and confidence. Eventually, she resigns from her job.
Fiction? Not really. The scenario above is a reality many women face as they navigate menopause while meeting their work responsibilities.
Menopause is the time when a woman stops menstruating. This natural condition marks the end of a woman’s reproductive years. The transition brings unique physical, emotional, and psychological changes for women.
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