From Being Childless To A Mother Of Two — Parenting Is A Handful Job!

The struggle has been intense after the birth of my second child. Years of just feeding, changing and parenting took a toll. I was so into proving to the world that I can do it that I completely lost myself in the effort.

 

I was like any other young girl… happy when I conceived a year after my wedding. Yet, my joy was short-lived, and I suffered a miscarriage soon after. Everyone assured me that I should just forget about it.

Miscarriages were a common occurrence and I would get surely ‘good news‘ soon, was the advice. That good news didn’t happen at all. Years passed and we were still childless. Then followed the most horrific years of my life, when we decided to seek treatment.

Infertility treatments can be a harsh experience

We went in for infertility treatments that were painful, invasive, exorbitant, and completely unsuccessful. It was a stressful time period. Finally, I gave up. The doctor gave us a long lecture about considering adoption.

Heartbroken, we found a new beginning in a new city. A new workplace, friends, and a lifestyle change.

Then the impossible happened!

After seven long years, I finally saw the 2 red lines on the pregnancy kit. My son was termed a miracle conception, a precious child by both family and doctors alike. The IMPOSSIBLE had happened!

So happy was I that I willingly agreed to give up all that I had worked so hard to achieve — my career.

Within a few years, I was shocked when I missed a period. A woman who was termed infertile by various specialists in different cities was pregnant with her second natural conception!

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It was a decision I made not to abort— against the advice of my mom and in-laws. “You won’t be able to handle two kids”. They were right— in their way.

Raising second child was tough

The struggle has been intense. Years of just feeding, changing and parenting took a toll. I was so into proving to the world that I can do it that I completely lost myself in the effort.

I shut the world out and thought I was happy. Yet, I knew I was miserable. I longed each day to get back to my work and social life. It was impossible. Permanent and reliable help was not settling. The kids left me exhausted with no time for myself — forget work and party!

The fights my husband and I had been incessant and recurrent. He just blamed the whole thing on me and that I should have never had the second child. I worked harder to prove him wrong. My daughter was a treasure I would never regret giving birth to.

Determination and love continued

Today, we smile and watch the bonding between our kids. They fight all the time. Yet, they are inseparable. The struggle continues as parenting is demanding.

We’ve finished the feeding and potty training challenge. We are currently in the second round — behaviour modification, school, and homework.

Handling constant pre-teen tantrums is tiring. Try taking two kids together to a supermarket! You will come back with a migraine and a bagful of unnecessary goodies.

Still, I try to live each day to the fullest. I see my own younger self in my daughter’s pretty smile. My son’s ready wit and confidence remind me of the spunky kid I was. Reliving my childhood with the kids. The challenge is completely worthwhile— trust me!

Like parents are children’s support, children too support us with their little gestures.

Support that I looked for from family, friends, and, the spouse, has surprisingly come from my children.

They give me strength when I feel weak. Wiping my tears when I break down. They talk and listen to my fears, and unfulfilled dreams. Little hands and little feet show me the way.

Work from Home has proved to be a blessing in disguise. A world of opportunity has opened up, and I am happy again! Back— within restrained timings, to my world of colour and design.

“Ma, that looks wonderful”, chirps the young Picasso! I give him a stern look, but I do thank him for the POV. Cheers to parenting! This is really what makes the world go round.

Image Source: Greenapereture via Getty Images, free on Canva Pro

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About the Author

Meeta Chablani

Hi! I'm Meeta Chablanii- an animator, illustrator a freelance fashion designer and a full time mom to two little brats. My journey of bringing them up forms the backdrop of most of my posts. read more...

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