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Why is it so difficult for men to take a no as a no from women? Why do they feel entitled to have their say 'obeyed'? Why is it so difficult to understand that matters of the heart are not to be forced?
Trigger Warning: This has graphic details of violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
Have you ever burnt your fingers while igniting a matchstick? Did it hurt? Yes, right?!
We all survive such incidents. But the exact second when your skin catches the fire is the moment your brain freezes and everything becomes blurred till the fire is put out. So imagine the pain when the whole body is set on fire! We can not even imagine it! The excruciating pain is not only difficult to describe, but it is also impossible to make one understand the torment of burnt skin.
In the news about this incident, the entitled smile on the face of the Jharkhand resident 19 year old stalker Shahrukh Hussain who recently set a 16 year old Ankita Singh on fire just because she rejected his advancements is sickening to the core. The ease and the fearlessness with which he set ablaze a young girl in our country is all the more horrifying!
Why is it so difficult for men to take a no from women?
Why do they feel entitled to have their say ‘obeyed’ by a female?
Why is it so difficult to understand that matters of the heart are not to be forced?
What kind of mentality is it to make someone suffer and even kill them just because someone exercised her choice of saying a no?
Yes, there are laws and we have our Constitution which guarantees us the right to life and personal liberty vide Article 21. But why is it so easy for anyone to snatch it away and be so nonchalant about it?
I certainly feel there is a big lacuna in our society with respect to women and their safety, especially young women who have to fight it day in and day out. I am sure a lot of us can relate to the trauma, the fear of those piercing eyes while we were young and traveled alone to schools, colleges, or tuition classes.
Why is it such a ‘commonplace’ thing even after 75 years of independence for young women of this nation to be stalked by the opposite gender?
Probably because there is no fear of the law! Probably the patriarchial thought of seeing women as an object to be owned is deeply ingrained in minds of young men which compels them to take such steps without being bothered about the consequences.
Probably, the love for having a male child and fulfilling all his wishes from a very young age is the root cause of such a twisted mentality. But what is worrisome is the lack of empathy. As humans, if we forget to feel what another human is feeling, then probably there is nothing else to say!
We have widespread media for coverage of such news and the digital and electronic media to present such cases and the repercussions that happen. So obviously the one who commits such a crime is not ignorant of the consequences. But what is it that gives them the strength to go to such extremes?
I have no words to portray the grief that her parents would be undergoing now. Imagine seeing your own child being burnt to death and all you can do is just witness the slow agonizing death of your own child, who you have given birth. For how long will women undergo such barbaric cruelty of the opposite gender? Till when will we all keep witnessing the flames of unjust forces getting stronger in this so-called ‘educated & well-informed’ society? When will a ‘NO’ from women mean a simple ‘NO’? When?
What would you have felt, if she was your daughter or sister or a dear friend? I think it is high time, that some concrete action is taken to prevent such instances rather than mourning the loss of young lives!
Image source: YouTube
Author of two books - (First - FivePetals; Second - Heartfelt symphonies both available on Amazon), Chinmayee Gayatree Sahu completed her MBA in Marketing and went on to join the Corporate World. She worked as a Product Manager read more...
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Rajshri Deshpande, who played the fiery protagonist in Trial by Fire along with Abhay Deol speaks of her journey and her social work.
Rajshri Deshpande as the protagonist in ‘Trial by Fire’, the recent Netflix show has received raving reviews along with the show itself for its sensitive portrayal of the Uphaar Cinema Hall fire tragedy, 1997 and its aftermath.
The limited series is based on the book by the same name written by Neelam and Shekhar Krishnamoorthy, who lost both their children in the tragedy. We got an opportunity to interview Rajshri Deshpande who played Neelam Krishnamoorthy, the woman who has been relentlessly crusading in the court for holding the owners responsible for the sheer negligence.
Rajshri Deshpande is more than an actor. She is also a social warrior, the rare celebrity from the film industry who has also gone back to her roots to give to poverty struck farming villages in her native Marathwada, with her NGO Nabhangan Foundation. Of course a chance to speak with her one on one was a must!
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The thirty-one-year-old marketing manager in a leading eCommerce company in India sat straight in her seat, her eyes on the screen, her fingers punching furiously into the keys. She was in a flow and wanted to finish the report while the thoughts and words were coming effortlessly into her mind.
Natu-Natu. The mellifluous ringtone interrupted her thoughts. She frowned at her mobile phone with half a mind to keep it ringing until she noticed the caller’s name on the screen, making her pick up the phone immediately.
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