Indian Matchmaking: Season 2 Of Absolute Cringe!

Women who can create a life for themselves, more so professionally and financially, are less likely to settle. While it has been seen that those bogged down by societal/parental expectations take the plunge mostly mindlessly.

2020 introduced us to a lot, one being Mrs Sima Taparia from Mumbai through the Netflix show ‘Indian Matchmaking’. If you haven’t seen the show, you would have heard the buzz about it, if not through anything else, but just the memes!

*Minimal spoilers ahead (and rightfully so) –

I just made it through episode 2 of the new season. When I started after a long day, as a means of taking a much needed break, I thought I would be tuning into some much needed laughter at the absurdities of this show and cringing to an extent. While I certainly did find some statements by the matchmaker ridiculous, I realized that there was way more cringe than I thought, and this just 2 episodes in!

No thought for what the woman really wants

The main thing to note here is that it’s 2022 and yet the same archaic ideas and notions are being pushed onto girls and women today. Women are made to feel like ‘leftovers’ thanks to society just because they aren’t married yet. The season starts with a self-proclaimed ‘most eligible bachelor in the world’, which you can choose to ignore and see what really makes him so confident.

However what astounded me more than this exaggerated self-notion was the parents’ notion about all they want in a girl.

Fair point. But here’s the catch, not one thought, concern or mention about what she does, how they would support her choices and ideas, if she can even have her own career or no! Straight up said ‘she should be interested in the family business for sure’ – insert family business: chicken factory (making equipment).

I don’t think finding a woman to move to Nashik is the catch, but finding one whose ‘childhood dream’ was taking care of this family business that’s the hard part. Due respect to his business and family’s hard work of course. To the ideas and demands from their daughter in law’ – not so much.

A society that traumatises women for ‘still being single’

We are reintroduced to one of season 1’s favorites, a pleasant happy woman, but her reintroduction is marked by her crying. A few moments ago she talks about all she does and how she is doing well professionally, has a great life and is successful. Cut to her crying while saying that all her friends are engaged or married while she is still single.

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While one can empathize with how she feels and yes how post 30 most women do start to lean towards this feeling even sub consciously, it brings to light how no matter how successful women can be, society and then even for themselves, the yardstick for being ‘truly’ successful is being married. All I am thinking while watching her cry is “Girl, why! You’re great with or without a man!”

Every woman told ‘You can’t have everything”

Back to our Mrs. Matchmaker. She has a new catch phrase this season. No longer compromise or adjustment, but “patience’.  Waiting for her to drop pearls of wisdom on this only to realize she’s wrapped up the same ideas in newer glossier packaging. “You can’t have everything’ is one of her gems she keeps throwing at women who know what they want.

While there is a slight truth to this – consider asking a man to have 5-6 interests exactly to your liking and a professional journey exactly as you imagine, well that’s a stretch (looking for a husband please, not a twin!). But to tell women to take away criteria that actually builds a life, like personality, now that’s unwarranted.

That coveted ‘married’ label

I found one of the young women’s comment really interesting one she said “My friends who are the damsels in distress type are married and it’s the confident one who are single/not married”. Not to generalize obviously, but there is a grain of truth to this.

Women who can create a life for themselves, more so professionally and financially, are less likely to settle. While it has been seen that those bogged down by societal/parental expectations take the plunge mostly mindlessly. More for a wedding and married label than the actual marriage. Of course many do seem to go on to really make it work and give it their best and expect the same too. But there are the lot who do so more for the attention a man, any man gives, to be able to dive into marriage (more so if in their 30s). And sadly the ones who just need to have a man ‘take care of them’ cause haven’t built the same for themselves. The ones who need to see his bank balance and geographical location more than anything to know he’s ‘the one’. Sad but true.

And how dare women consider younger men?

Somewhere near end of episode 2, we hear a young woman talk about liking a man 7 years younger and she seems quite excited. Only to have Mrs. Matchmaker brush her off and tell her not to consider it. Cause, well age. Yes, just age. She promptly gives the prime example of Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas. It makes one angry to hear the response by Sima Taparia when she blatantly calls it a bad match – because well 11 years older woman to her husband, to her is a death sentence.

It doesn’t stop there. She calls Chopra ‘elderly’ stating that’s how she looks next to her ‘petite’ husband.

Is this really being said even in 2022? But of course. To have a woman pull down another woman based on her age as older to her husband, literally discarding every single accomplishment she made in 2 countries, is sickening to say the least. It boils down to her just being older. Demographic clearly decides success as per Sima Taparia.

Women who know their own minds give some hope

One of the best things I heard so far was when one of the young women says “I know what I bring to the table and am asking for the same. What’s the big deal about that?” Loved this! This is exactly what the self-assured women of today, Indian women, irrespective of geography, believe. Such women know exactly what they’re capable of, both as individuals and a partner. So why should they settle for less than what they can offer? Season 1 vocabulary gems – compromise and adjustment can only happen when both treat each other as equals and provide equal effort and responsibility to the partnership, and step up for the partner when needed.

Balance. Not the kind that is tipped only in one’s favour.

I understand Mrs. Matchmaker being old fashioned in her ideas, as self-declared by her too. She comes from social conditioning of 40-50 years ago and her concept of marriage works for her and her business as it does for the many clients (aka parents) who hold the same ideas as her. But it would be nice if she also tries to incorporate how times have changed, how women have blossomed into their own and how women actually have a voice today. Perhaps, if she patiently considers this and is willing to compromise on few of her ideas and adjust to the minds of women today – she’d be way more successful.

Guess I learnt her vocabulary really well and could ‘use it in a sentence’ too!

Back to the remaining episodes, glass of wine in tow. Much needed survival juice for incoming life and marriage lessons by Mrs. Matchmaker.

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About the Author

Sonali D.

Soul centric and free spirited all the while living life through travel and adrenaline junkie activities. Counselling Psychologist and Educator by vocation. And a life and laughter enthusiast by heart. Usually found daydreaming about her read more...

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