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A failed relationship where a person suffers physical and emotional abuse cannot be a yardstick for a good or bad partner. Nor does a divorce mean the end for a person, making her feel like a culprit.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic abuse and may br triggering to survivors.
In this jet and net age, divorces and separations are still considered taboo. Instances of domestic violence and abuse are brushed under the carpet, often by our family members, citing “log kya kahenge”.
According to a survey there were an increased number of cases of domestic violence reported during the lockdowns. Such instances keep occurring in our neighbourhood, with our colleagues, friends, but no concrete steps are taken to stop them. In most cases the victim herself shies away from seeking legal help, more so when a child is involved, thinking about its future and upbringing.
It is a myth that only the women who are financially dependent on their partners do not come out in the open about their domestic abuse. Even highly educated and financially sound women silently suffer behind the walls for the fear of being judged and shamed. Victim- shaming is so highly prevalent in our society, that a girl is blamed for her molestation, not the predator.
The judiciary and laws are quite sympathetic towards the women who silently suffer in the very home which is meant to protect her, even though interpretation may be a problem. But sadly most cases are not reported, nor do the women step towards moving out of such toxic relationships.
Divorce is still a nightmare for many women and their families as it drains them emotionally, and rips off their ‘social status’ as the society very quickly lays the blame on the woman for not being a ‘good enough wife’. So the entire process becomes a dual fight for a woman going through a divorce.
Women cannot be safe only by implementing strict laws, but by changing our perspective and attitude towards women. A failed relationship where a person suffers physical and emotional abuse cannot be a yardstick for a good or bad partner. Nor does a divorce mean the end for a person, making her feel like a culprit. Our society as a whole needs to be empathetic towards such women, and support them in the battle to find a strong ground under their feet.
Image source: Still from The Perfect Match, YouTube
Hailing from Assam,m a simple home maker with a flair for writing..Being brought up in a metropolitan atmosphere,I love to appreciate and imbibe the goodness of various cultures and people. read more...
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It is easy to give in to patriarchal expectations from a married woman and lose your self in a marriage, but the path to happiness is in keeping your independence.
Marriage is often described as the joining of two individuals’ bodies, minds, and souls. Upon getting married, you are expected to share everything with your partner, including time, money, and all other aspects of life. Your life should revolve around your spouse from beginning to end.
But is it necessary to spend every waking moment with the spouse? Are you not supposed to have a life apart from your spouse? And do these rules apply only to women or men as well?
Although both men and women may face this situation, women are generally expected to give up everything once they get married. Despite progress in several areas, expecting women to abandon their interests, passions, and friendships to align their lives with those of their spouses is still considered the norm.
The rising numbers of single women choosing this life shout out clear and loud that patriarchy and sexism will no longer break or chain us.
Another book on singlehood? It seems to be the season for books on the joys and freedom of being single. But Demystifying and Dignifying Singlehood: Life Journeys of Single Women Across the Globe by Uma Jain is different. The book does not glorify or glamourise the lives of single women in any way. These are real stories – with the good, the bad and the ugly, all there.
The book tells the stories of 15 single women across the world. A feeling of deep understanding and empathy fills you as you read the book and understand the challenges faced by the women who are single – by choice or chance. Some of the women chose to be single because they faced discrimination and even abuse as girl children. Some others had abusive marriages and sought divorce.
The tag line ‘Crafting pathways on rough terrains’ on the cover page is enough to tell you that this is a serious take on the issue of singlehood. If it focuses more on the rough than the smooth, that has been the reality for the 15 women.
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