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Would you rather be there physically and emotionally for your partner or bid him/her a grand funeral to show that you cared about them?
During my mother-in-law’s cremation, I realized that my mother had become unusually quiet and withdrawn. I thought it was just the usual pain and profound sadness we experience during such occasions.
However, I was mistaken. A few days later my mother confided that the cremation she witnessed was one of the best farewells she had seen.
There was no mistake as my father-in-law ensured that at least 15 priests and a bishop were present for the funeral. He had sent word about the passing away of his wife. Since he was a prominent figure in his neighborhood and the church, the entire presbyterate along with the clergy were present. Although this meant that the ceremony went on for 3 to 4 hours, he felt he had given her the best farewell. Since my father had passed away almost a decade back, my mother felt that she would not be honored in this manner.
However, that got me thinking about the life my parents lived. My dad always ensured that my mom ate her food before he even swallowed a morsel. He looked after her and our needs with more importance than his own. Although a short-tempered person, he considered us his world. He was the pillar of support for my mother. She couldn’t ask for anything better.
But, matters were very different in my husband’s house. My father-in-law was always more concerned about his needs. He would priorities his strict schedule over my mother-in-law’s needs. He would never ask if she had eaten or had any particular concerns that needed to be addressed. She used to toil in the kitchen preparing all the food and he deemed it her sole responsibility to cook, clean and maintain the household.
But, after the funeral and later on, it dawned upon him that he hadn’t cared for her, enough. He regretted deeply that he had not considered her nor prioritized her needs when she was there. However, I think my father left this world happy that he had been there for all of us. So, which is important, considering your spouse your better half and being there for them physically and emotionally while alive or bidding thehttps://www.youtum a grand farewell after they are gone? We definitely need to ponder on this before our better halves leave this world!
Image Source: Still from a Youtube Video
Presently working as an English tutor, a dentist by profession, but a writer forever. Love penning down everything I strongly feel about and create a change in mindset, especially among the youth. read more...
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If you want to get back to work after a break, here’s the ultimate guide to return to work programs in India from tech, finance or health sectors - for women just like you!
Last week, I was having a conversation with a friend related to personal financial planning and she shared how she had had fleeting thoughts about joining work but she was apprehensive to take the plunge. She was unaware of return to work programs available in India.
She had taken a 3-year long career break due to child care and the disconnect from the job arena that she spoke about is something several women in the same situation will relate to.
More often than not, women take a break from their careers to devote time to their kids because we still do not have a strong eco-system in place that can support new mothers, even though things are gradually changing on this front.
A married woman has to wear a sari, sindoor, mangalsutra, bangles, anklets, and so much more. What do these ornaments have to do with my love, respect, and commitment to my husband?
They: Are you married? Me: Yes They: But You don’t look like it Me: (in my Mind) Why should I?
Why is being married not enough for a woman, and she needs to look married too? I am tired of such comments in the nearly four years of being married.
I believe that anything that is forced is not right. I must have a choice. I am a living human, not a puppet. And I am not stopping anyone by not following any tradition. You are free to do whatever you like to do. But do not force others. It’s depressing.