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I did not even know that such parents really do exist until I encountered some more selfish parents in some way or the other.
Recently, I accompanied my aunt to a function in our neighborhood. Everybody seemed happier, merrier & well dressed for the occasion while a chic lady approached my aunt to know her well-being and her children.
My aunt’s sons were studying and working abroad and hence not living with them.
Don’t encourage your children for higher studies and to be successful otherwise they will leave you & get well-settled in life”.
I was stuck with shock; I lived in wonder more than my heart flamed with fury when these words escaped from that lady’s mouth.
Me & my aunt looked at each other; wore a faint smile and kept quiet.
Gross! How could she utter such things in her lifetime being a parent by herself?
After all, according to the world parents can never be wrong. They are always correct and want the best for their children.
I was shocked at how harsh reality is disguised as love & care.
I am brought up in an unbiased supportive environment by my parents. I am always grateful for what they did and still doing for us. We children are treated fairly and most importantly, we siblings feel it.
It is very unsettling for me to accept that some parents can be so selfish in manipulating their children in some way or other. I questioned their existence until I encountered some and also heard the narrations by their own adult children.
Have you ever witnessed the agony of those children who feel devastated to have to know being manipulated and not being really liked or loved unconditionally by their parents not even once but most of the time?
How can you be so stringent in supporting your child emotionally and validating their feelings at least when they are adult?
How can you be well-liked by others and reach others and can’t see your own children!
The world finds it even harder when one fine day you wake up to a toxic relationship and tell the world that how much the relationship is costing you.
God save those parents who gained expertise in playing victim card and collecting sympathy from others.
Is it okay if parents misguide you to believe that they want you to succeed? But actually they are only thinking of their self-love and comfort. Though I agree that self-love is the best gift anyone can give to themselves. They are not seemingly concerned by what you want or need, so here I ask myself who is being selfish and who is letting who down.
Will it be equally an irresponsible act and leveled as ‘sin’ when parents do not treat their children with unconditional love as the same way when children do not treat their parents with respect & unconditional love & care?
Author’s Note: I am a parent & I too have parents, but this is not about me or about them. I find it extremely hard to pen my thoughts on this topic as I including you find it really strange to accept the fact that unfortunately parents can be too self-centered & manipulative.
I do not know how I am as a parent. I think my child is the best person to tell you. But one thing I do – to remind myself constantly to love him unconditionally with required discipline and encouragement.
There are two gifts
We should give our children:
One is roots, and the other is wings.
Image Source: Still from the serial Balika Vadhu
I am an educator, Soft-Skill Trainer & a mother. read more...
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