There Is No Way To Be A Perfecft Mother And A Million Ways To Be A Good One

As women, we are bestowed with the 'power' to bring a new life to earth, and then as they say, "With great power comes great responsibility!"

Right, so you get it why the spelling of perfecft isn’t perfect in the title. That’s how we mothers are, perfect in a perfecft way. As women, we are bestowed with the ‘power‘ to bring a new life to earth, and then as they say, “With great power comes great responsibility!”

Here we are, striving to be the best version of ourselves for our children, finally, we’re human, no human can be perfect then how can one expect a mother to be one?

In any case, what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another. Each child is unique in his/her own way, hence there cannot be a single formula to raise a  perfectly perfect child.

Luckily, for me living in a nuclear setup has been more of a boon than a bane. I know there are many flip sides too, but I’m counting my blessings here.

Enjoyed every bit of this beautiful journey!

Moreover, right from conception till birth being on my own was fun in itself. I and my husband enjoyed every bit of this beautiful journey together.

Right from the beginning, I used to follow a certain parenting website, which was my guide, my advisor, my doctor, my everything, it helped me raise my daughter well, never failed me at any of her milestones.

I got ample advice from every aunt, in-law, friend, and family especially the elderly ladies in the clan. Feed this, feed that, kala tikka zaroor lagana, nazar utarna…I used to listen to them but do as per what my heart and head combined together would say and what was best for my child.

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Never applied kohl or Kala tikka, never uttaraoed Nazar, fed her what was right for her age.

“Gavar ki sabzi” being her favorite vegetable, how’s that bad?

I got to hear a lot, “She hasn’t taught her daughter to eat everything, it’s going to be tough when she grows up”. They meant biscuits, chips, and spicy food, as I used to give her mixed vegetable soup sans salt and pepper during lunch and plain khichdi with a dollop of ghee for dinner when she was a toddler.

Today, she’s over 12 and my daughter eats every single green vegetable, gavar ki sabzi being her favorite vegetable, how’s that bad?

Yes, they were correct, she doesn’t eat everything; biscuits, chips, maggi or any farsan, no frooti, gems or candies. She is not used to munching in between meals. If she feels hungry in the evening then there are fruits.

Raised her quite well without a village!

I used to read to her since she was a child and today she’s a voracious reader. She doesn’t watch much TV or play games on the cell phone, guess I raised her quite well without a village, though they say, “You need a village to raise a child.”

We haven’t enrolled her in any extracurricular activity classes, not even extra academic classes, still, she tops her foyer year after year, she gets medals in sports, drawing, and the likes. I’m a strict no-no for coding classes, which is the latest fad these days, yet her own website is in the works already. She used to learn ballet earlier and that’s it.

Never raises your hand on the child!

One rule I’ve strictly stuck to all these years never raises your hand on the child, nothing can be accomplished by resorting to corporal punishment, rather much damage is done on the innocent child’s mind. And we all know, it’s our frustrations that we vent out when we hit the child, poor child wouldn’t even have done much.

All we need to give our children is loads of love, attention, admire them the way they are, and give them the understanding of basic life skills rather than making them run around from one coaching to another, it’s doing no good, either to them or to us. It’s just a race parents are trying to win at the cost of their children!

So you see there is no way to be a perfecft mother but there are a million ways to be a good one.

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About the Author

Heena Shah

Mother to a bubbly teenager and a student of psychology, Heena is also a travel enthusiast. She loves to observe the happenings around her and weave them into beautiful stories. A writer with a passion read more...

28 Posts | 42,515 Views

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