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Why do we accept anything and everything from men, while expecting such high standards from women all the time? Why do we have different bars of acceptable behaviour?
The moment a woman slaps someone, or throws her old in-laws out of home, it becomes trending news. The trolls begin on pseudo-feminism, justice, modern evil, non-sanskari females, etc.
But when it is other way round, it takes a 5-year-old to be brutally raped, or a woman gang raped in a moving bus with such gory details, that you may end up puking your guts out. Only after this scale of 9/10 is scaled, such news where men are perpetrators, becomes trending.
A man slapping, breaking bones of a woman, whistling at her publicly, or groping her breasts is kind of ‘accepted’. In fact, it is even normalized through punchlines like ‘boys will be boys,’ and ‘Akeli ladki Khuli tijori.’
Why can’t we have same bar for everyone? Why can’t we show same frustration and outburst when anyone irrespective of their gender shows their rage in an unjustified manner?
Act of one person (read female) is used as a stick to beat up many more women who had taken a lifetime of courage to take one step towards equality and freedom.
A woman is not supposed to err, she is supposed to be revered, and conscious of her reverence. And the moment she strays from this set path, she is used as an example, rather justification, to silence the other voices.
Take for example the case where a girl was killed for wearing jeans by her family. Do you think this all happened overnight? No, this is all because of that rotten mindset that is displayed in the name of so-called chivalry and cultural heritage on the social media through trolls, and sexiest comments about women – even a Minister has the audacity to share his undemocratic sentiments when he laments how the sight of a woman in ripped jeans troubled him.
We have set different bars for crimes depending upon what is the gender of the criminal? We don’t hate the crime; we hate who has committed it. What we forget is that a crime is a crime.
Image source: a still from the film Ishqzaade
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Vartika Sharma Lekhak is a writer based in India. She is the author of the short-story collection – Bra Strap and two anthologies – When Women Speak Up, and The Take Off.
The short-story collection read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Mostly Normal is a book of innocence, longing, filial love, angst and acceptance, encapsulating a gamut of human emotions within its lightweight edifice. The book touches the human heart and will stay with you.
Some books enthral you till the last page, and then there are those that you stop reading after turning a few pages. Some books are a one-time read, while you carry some books with you long after you have read them. Then, once in a while, a book hits you so close to home that you find it difficult to slot into any category.
I will put Priyadeep Kaur’s Mostly Normal (BookSoul Reads, 2022) in this last bracket.
At a little less than hundred pages, Mostly Normal is a testimony of the power of words to inspire, irrespective of their length.
From all news reports, clearly, Aftab Poonawalla seems to be a psychopath, and It was a well-strategized story of domestic violence, abuse, subjugation, and a well-planned murder.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, gaslighting, murder, and abetting violence, and may be triggering to survivors.
One case has gripped the nation and I do not need to mention which. My problem is with how the news reflects a victim’s character. The disrespect we show to someone who was long abused and lives no more is appalling. The disservice we do to her through spoken and written words lies in the sensationalizing of the entire case.
How do you spot a crazy human? They do not have two horns and red eyes. They may have no empathy but will show it to lure the victim, just like a child abuser lures a child with candy. Their grooming styles may vary but it is mostly about creating an untrue sense of safety and security around the victim. They present themselves as this effortless savior, an ultimate generous destination for a mentally and emotionally vulnerable person.
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