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Why Do We Have Such A Low Bar For Men And Accept ‘Boys Will Be Boys’?!

Why do we accept anything and everything from men, while expecting such high standards from women all the time? Why do we have different bars of acceptable behaviour?

Why do we accept anything and everything from men, while expecting such high standards from women all the time? Why do we have different bars of acceptable behaviour?

The moment a woman slaps someone, or throws her old in-laws out of home, it becomes trending news. The trolls begin on pseudo-feminism, justice, modern evil, non-sanskari females, etc.

But when it is other way round, it takes a 5-year-old to be brutally raped, or a woman gang raped in a moving bus with such gory details, that you may end up puking your guts out. Only after this scale of 9/10 is scaled, such news where men are perpetrators, becomes trending.


A man slapping, breaking bones of a woman, whistling at her publicly, or groping her breasts is kind of ‘accepted’. In fact, it is even normalized through punchlines like ‘boys will be boys,’ and ‘Akeli ladki Khuli tijori.

Why can’t we have same bar for everyone? Why can’t we show same frustration and outburst when anyone irrespective of their gender shows their rage in an unjustified manner?

One erring woman’s actions used to beat up others

Act of one person (read female) is used as a stick to beat up many more women who had taken a lifetime of courage to take one step towards equality and freedom.

A woman is not supposed to err, she is supposed to be revered, and conscious of her reverence. And the moment she strays from this set path, she is used as an example, rather justification, to silence the other voices.

Take for example the case where a girl was killed for wearing jeans by her family. Do you think this all happened overnight? No, this is all because of that rotten mindset that is displayed in the name of so-called chivalry and cultural heritage on the social media through trolls, and sexiest comments about women – even a Minister has the audacity to share his undemocratic sentiments when he laments how the sight of a woman in ripped jeans troubled him.

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We have set different bars for crimes depending upon what is the gender of the criminal? We don’t hate the crime; we hate who has committed it. What we forget is that a crime is a crime.

Image source: a still from the film Ishqzaade

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About the Author

Vartika Sharma Lekhak

Vartika Sharma Lekhak is a writer based in India. She is the author of the short-story collection – Bra Strap and two anthologies – When Women Speak Up, and The Take Off. The short-story collection read more...

21 Posts | 107,643 Views

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