If you are a professional in an emerging industry, like gaming, data science, cloud computing, digital marketing etc., that has promising career opportunities, this is your chance to be featured in #CareerKiPaathshaala. Fill up this form today!
As a society, we expect that women who speak up must be extroverted. What about the introverts who quietly do what they have to?
Feminism is the best thing that has happened to me. I know that I’m even writing this article because feminists across centuries have fought for my rights. We are standing on the shoulders of feminist giants and we need to pay it forward to the coming generations.
However, when we think about any kind of revolution, we mostly think of extroverted people. Just search for the word ‘activist’ on Google and you will see images of people revolting on streets and loudly raising slogans. As Susan Cain points out in her famous TED talk, this is kind of unfair because a lot of revolutionary leaders in history have been introverts.
It’s interesting that Cain compares our extrovert bias with the alienation and the pain that women feel in the patriarchal setup. “Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal are like women living in a man’s world,” she writes in her book, Quiet.
When I began my career, I knew that I would be calling out my co-workers, irrespective of their position, if they happen to be sexist or promote discrimination in any way. I’m now seven years in my career and barring one, all of my bosses have passed sexist comments. I’ve called them out but my way of calling out hasn’t always fit the extroverted feminist template.
I called out one of my bosses on social media (he was on my friends’ list and he was my boss at that time). He read what I posted, and even though he didn’t admit his mistake, he got the message.
In another case, I bought a t-shirt that called out people who enjoy sexist jokes. I wore it to my workplace. Being an introvert and also someone who battles Social Anxiety Disorder, the attention made me uncomfortable. But my boss got my message and was at least careful before cracking such jokes. At that point in time, this was the choice that honored my feminist principles and helped me handle my anxiety at the same time.
Over the years, I have become more comfortable in calling out seniors and other co-workers. I have made choices that required me to move out of my comfort zone.
But why are introverts always expected to move out of their comfort zone? Isn’t it fair to sometimes expect extroverts to do the same? Why do introverts like me have to fit into the extrovert ideal? What if I’m not like the extroverted ‘boss lady’ that a lot of people admire? Are extrovert feminists superior to introvert ones?
The idea is not to compete – we need both introverts and extroverts to lead and change the world with their unique gifts. We need both groups to challenge themselves to move out of their comfort zone. Unfortunately, we seem to have a rigid idea of how we should be changing the world and who can bring in change.
Revolutions are not always about loud slogans or flamboyant rebellion. Sometimes, it is just a woman on a bus quietly refusing to give up her seat to a white passenger.
Image source: a still from the film Kaasav
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!
Feminist. Autodidact. Introvert. Highly Sensitive Person. Optimist. Bookworm. Spiritual Seeker. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
Darlings makes some excellent points about domestic violence . For such a movie to not follow through with a resolution that won't be problematic, is disappointing.
I watched Darlings last weekend, staying on top of its release on Netflix. It was a long-awaited respite from the recent flicks. I wanted badly to jump into its praise and will praise it, for something has to be said for the powerhouse performances it is packed with. But I will not be able to in a way that I really had wanted to.
I wanted to say that this is a must-watch on domestic violence that I stand behind and a needed and nuanced social portrayal. But unfortunately, I can’t. For I found Darlings to be deeply problematic when it comes to the portrayal of domestic violence and how that should be dealt with.
Before we rush to the ‘you must be having a problem because a man was hit’ or ‘much worse happens to women’ conclusions, that is not what my issue is. I have seen the praises and criticisms, and the criticisms of criticisms. I know, from having had close associations with non-profits and activists who fight domestic violence not just in India but globally, that much worse happens to women. I have written a book with case studies and statistics on that. Neither do I have any moral qualms around violence getting tackled with violence (that will be another post some day).