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Women Deserve To Learn How To Put Themselves First And Not Be Servile

Posted: May 13, 2021

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Girls must be taught to be assertive so that they don’t grow up to live a life of only compromise and ‘adjustment’.

Women have been living undignified lives since time immemorial. They have always been suppressed in society because of its intricate make-up,  which has evolved over a long period of time. The ‘fact’ that women are inferior is deeply rooted in many cultures.

In few societies, women themselves have accepted this fact and are okay with being mistreated.  They are ready to compromise with basic rights that they deserve. There are umpteen reasons to question why such  ideology still exists in our society and wonder how it is passed on from one generation to other? Why it is not easy to break away from it?

Unless women themselves become aware of their own rights, and start thinking about their own needs, the list of miseries will not come to an end. When girls are quite young, it’s often seen that in families the older generation of women tell their own stories of how they survived their marriages and subtly pass on the message to younger generations that girls should be tolerant. Women must not stand up against mistreatment, and must learn to adjust to the pain and abuse.

What too much compromise does to a woman

This is so bizarre during this age, when we have progressed so much in every field, when we say we go by reason instead of age old and redundant ideas. Girls right from the beginning should be taught to be assertive and to speak up. They should not be taught only traditional values but we must broaden their outlook as well. We ought to teach our girl child to be independent and not sacrifice her life for some husband or in-law, but to take care of their own happiness and health.

After marriage, if the girl is not assertive, there are unending troubles she will have to go through. The husband and in-laws have so many unreasonable and unrealistic expectations from her as she enters an entirely different world. She is expected to act in some predetermined way even if in reality she is different. She has to act in a way that appeals to the family members.

Is it sustainable in the long run? Why isn’t a girl coming from a different background made comfortable in the new environment and given time to open up?

Why they are stripped off even the basic rights after marriage? Why do they need husband’s or in-laws’ permission before doing something very basic like meeting her own parents?

Being financially independent is a big advantage for asserting their rights. At times, we see earning women are also controlled by their husbands and they can’t spend at their own will. In such situations, a woman has to assess how much of the interference by in-laws or husband is sh going to bear. In married life, sometime we need to make minor adjustments but once it outgrows your tolerance level, you need to rethink your relationship. Everyone has one life and no one should do anything at the cost of own happiness and mental peace. Life is very much unpredictable and one should not waste their life being trapped in murky waters.

Marriage is more of a gamble in which we never know whether one person will be compatible to another one in the long run. In the beginning, everything is rosy but as things start unfurling slowly, the real picture emerges.

A little bit of clash here and there is fine but if there is constant tussle and discontentment then there is something seriously wrong. At this point, for the sake of our mental health, we must decide whether to stay in relationship or walk out of it. After all it is our life and the ultimate decision  lies in our hands.

Image source: Canva

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