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Children internalize misogyny from observing, reading, and watching things and people around them. Let's set a better example.
Children internalize misogyny from observing, reading, and watching things and people around them. Let’s set a better example.
Rhythm Pachecho, a girl studying in the 4th grade at a school in Utah, USA has been receiving praises online after she refused to solve an offensive math problem.
The homework she had been given involved a math problem: “The table to the right shows the weight of three Grade 4 students. How much heavier is Isabel than the lightest student?”
Rhythm, rightly so, got uncomfortable with this question involving the body-weight of three girls, as it perpetuates blatant misogyny towards young girls. Rhythm encircled it and wrote , “What!!! This is offensive. Sorry I won’t right (write) this. It’s rood (rude).”
She also wrote a note to her Math teacher. The note said, “Dear Mrs.Shaw, I don’t want to be rude, but I don’t think that Math problem was very nice because that’s judging people’s weight. Also, the reason I did not do the sentence is cause I just don’t think that’s nice. Oh, and the problem is page 34, number 7. Love, Rhythm.”
In an interview, her mother said that she and her husband are proud of Rhythm “for listening to her gut instincts and standing up for what is right.”
Many on social media have praised Rhythm for taking a stand. While Eureka Math, the company which provides educational material to Rhythm’s school apologized for “any discomfort or offense caused by the question.” The company assured that it will replace the question in all future reprints.
It is no hidden fact that the way people in a house treat and talk to each other gets modeled by the kids, but in our age and time, the culture we live in also promotes misogyny in numerous ways.
Children who study Hindi language at schools learn idioms like “Haatho mein choodiyan pehenna” (to wear bangles in hands), which means ‘to be cowardly.’ The association of bangles, (primarily worn by women) with cowardice is a prime example of how gender discrimination and misogyny is instilled in young boys and girls from a young age.
This advertisement of Bournvita from the 1960s, primarily a children’s health drink has a tagline which says, “Pati ki khushi aapki khushi hai” (“Your husband’s happiness is your happiness.”)
1960s :: Bourn Vita Advertisement Tagline " पति की खुशी आपकी खुशी है " pic.twitter.com/fCAtF9c9Nk — indianhistorypics (@IndiaHistorypic) October 6, 2020
1960s :: Bourn Vita Advertisement Tagline
" पति की खुशी आपकी खुशी है " pic.twitter.com/fCAtF9c9Nk
— indianhistorypics (@IndiaHistorypic) October 6, 2020
This advertisement isn’t only blatantly sexist but also sends a message to young kids that a woman’s happiness always comes secondary to her husband and that a woman’s only job is to take care of her husband and family, sidetracking her own needs. You may say that this was 60 years ago, but just the quote tweets for this tweet tells you how deeply this misogynist idea is embedded in the minds of Indians, even now, in the 2020s, the same message passing from generation to generation through other means.
And the recent, glaring example of boislockerroom is proof enough, that the sexist way girls and women are looked at, even by boys as young as 14-16, is horrifying.
This incident shows the importance of instilling good values and creating a healthy atmosphere for our kids from a young age. They imitate and learn behaviours by watching and listening to people around them.
Image source: YouTube
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
Darlings makes some excellent points about domestic violence . For such a movie to not follow through with a resolution that won't be problematic, is disappointing.
I watched Darlings last weekend, staying on top of its release on Netflix. It was a long-awaited respite from the recent flicks. I wanted badly to jump into its praise and will praise it, for something has to be said for the powerhouse performances it is packed with. But I will not be able to in a way that I really had wanted to.
I wanted to say that this is a must-watch on domestic violence that I stand behind and a needed and nuanced social portrayal. But unfortunately, I can’t. For I found Darlings to be deeply problematic when it comes to the portrayal of domestic violence and how that should be dealt with.
Before we rush to the ‘you must be having a problem because a man was hit’ or ‘much worse happens to women’ conclusions, that is not what my issue is. I have seen the praises and criticisms, and the criticisms of criticisms. I know, from having had close associations with non-profits and activists who fight domestic violence not just in India but globally, that much worse happens to women. I have written a book with case studies and statistics on that. Neither do I have any moral qualms around violence getting tackled with violence (that will be another post some day).