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Being an adult comes with the responsibility of taking care of ourselves, playing the grown up role and always being the rock. But is it really possible?
Walking through a winter evening to a friend’s house sipping in a warm hot chocolate drink felt like I had everything in the world I needed. The warm fuzzy feeling, the comfort of being warm and the chill in the air that felt so fresh. But then, the thought that weekend ends tomorrow came and everything felt a little tasteless.
We all crave for a little warmth and peace of mind. But very often our minds come in between. Catastrophic thoughts, excessive worry often leads us away from our peace of mind.
Sometimes I feel I have not exactly grown up. I always seem to need my father every time. Just to pick me up and soothe away my fears and worries. But being an adult comes with the responsibility of taking care of ourselves, playing the grown up role and always being the rock. But is it really possible? Or are grown-ups just people with the heart of a little child faking that they have everything under control?
Moving to the evening when my hot chocolate tasted a little bland, well, I was headed to my friend’s house for dinner. This woman has always amazed me. Even in the face of a tornado, she seemed to always have her calm. Worry is something that does not exist in her dictionary at all. Conversationally I asked her that night –
‘How do you stay so calm and composed everyday of your life? Don’t you ever get scared or overwhelmed with responsibilities or the demons in the head ever?’
While carefully cutting a piece of the food on her plate, she replied, ‘Where would indulging in the above lead you to?’
‘Nowhere,’ I replied quite startled at the stark obviousness of my answer.
‘Then why indulge at all?’ she asked.
‘I have learnt over the years, it’s very easy to get through life.
‘I am not calm and composed’, she added. ‘I am just like you and every other human. The only difference is when there is a fight between my mind and my spirit, I always side with my spirit, no matter how tempting or right my mind’s side might seem. This keeps me on tracks. It’s hard to wage a war every day, trust me. But it’s something that you need to do every day and win. No compromise either on that. Gradually you begin to learn how to do this effortlessly. Once there, you will be indomitable.’
‘Wow’, was all I could reply.
Image source: Wesner Rodrigues on pexels
A Social Media Content Writer by profession. A writer by heart. A genuine foodie. Simple by nature. Love to read, create paintings and cook. Have impossible dreams. At the moment, engaged in making those dreams read more...
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
Darlings makes some excellent points about domestic violence . For such a movie to not follow through with a resolution that won't be problematic, is disappointing.
I watched Darlings last weekend, staying on top of its release on Netflix. It was a long-awaited respite from the recent flicks. I wanted badly to jump into its praise and will praise it, for something has to be said for the powerhouse performances it is packed with. But I will not be able to in a way that I really had wanted to.
I wanted to say that this is a must-watch on domestic violence that I stand behind and a needed and nuanced social portrayal. But unfortunately, I can’t. For I found Darlings to be deeply problematic when it comes to the portrayal of domestic violence and how that should be dealt with.
Before we rush to the ‘you must be having a problem because a man was hit’ or ‘much worse happens to women’ conclusions, that is not what my issue is. I have seen the praises and criticisms, and the criticisms of criticisms. I know, from having had close associations with non-profits and activists who fight domestic violence not just in India but globally, that much worse happens to women. I have written a book with case studies and statistics on that. Neither do I have any moral qualms around violence getting tackled with violence (that will be another post some day).