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My Husband And I Are Childfree By Choice, And That Does NOT Make Us Selfish!

Posted: January 20, 2021

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You wanna marry or not, you’re childfree by choice or want kids, you want to adopt or be a single mom; no one has any business judging you. 

We are in the 21st century today and so many thing have changed. As humans we have evolved , our surroundings have changed, new thoughts have replaced age old customs, modern and updated applications  have replaced old and manual way of working and connecting. Everything, right from what we do and how we do it has evolved and changed over the course of years.

And of course, it is something that should happen because after all change is inevitable. This is how we grow and how the world grows. But as we grow, it is very important to understand and accept these changes.

What’s considered ‘normal’ may not be what is correct

For centuries, we have been made to believe what is considered as ‘normal’ is the ‘only’ way. People have stereotyped roles – a woman is expected to manage the household chores, take care of the children, husband/family, cook and clean, and a man is expected to go out and earn.

A man is not expected to be emotional or feel low or cry and express his feelings. A woman is not expected to be bold, speak her mind and do as she pleases. People who break out of this social mold are generally considered as ‘trying to be cool’ or ‘trying to be different’.

Just let people ‘BE’

It is high time we start accepting people for the choices they make and not judge them just because their choice or way of living is different from ours. Just let people be as they want.

For each one of us, the idea of success and happiness is different. The ‘so- called normal’ course for a woman is to marry at a certain age and have kids after marriage. But some women don’t want to follow the same course. So let’s not judge them and make them uncomfortable.

We’re childfree by choice; you choose for yourself!

I am a woman in my early 30s, happily married for 6 years, but me and my husband we don’t want to have kids. We have decided to be childfree by choice. It’s a mutual decision which we took after contemplating and listening to each other. Both of us were never very keen on kids (although I have my little nieces whom I love and adore) but we just don’t feel the need to have our own.

We are happy and content with each other and want to live our life the way we want without any liabilities and restrictions. We love spending time with each other, doing stuff together, travelling and having our ‘me’ time.

Having said that I am in no way saying or propagating that this is the best way. To each his own. You do what makes you happy – you wanna marry or you don’t, you want to have kids or you don’t or you want to adopt or be a single mother. One should be able to choose their way of living without being judged.

Childfree by choice doesn’t make us weird or selfish!

I am just saying what we feel and why we don’t want to have kids. You may disagree with our point of view and I am okay with that. Just as you may have your reasons to have kids, we have our own reasons to not have kids.

We are not trying to be different, we are just trying to live our life our way.   While this may not be conventional, but this  is what both of us want and we should be able to choose how we want to live without being judged.

People are very new to this idea and often give extreme reactions on hearing this – ranging from ‘Oh, you’ll come around’ to ‘You will regret this later’ to ‘You can consult so and so doctor’ to ‘You’re being selfish’ and what not.

Why is it so difficult for people to accept our choice? All I want to say is, every one is different and unique. Let’s respect that, and be kind to each other.

Do let me know, if you have faced any such stereotype, and how you dealt/are dealing with it. I would love to hear from all of you.

Image source: a still from the series Permanent Roommates

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An HR professional by career , who loves to read, talk and connect with people.

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