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Staying in the US, as an Indian I get admiration for my dark and thick hair very often, but how important is it really?
I have recently had more than a few people reach out to me, asking what I do for my hair.
So here is my Sunday morning unisex advice for hair. This may be universally useless, will not really help any gender – but here is my learnt lesson.
I come from a long line of hairy Indians. We take the ‘being a mammal’ part to a whole new level.
On this note my grandfather died in his late 90s, with a full head of hair. Throughout his 80s (when I was in India), whenever he was given any medication, I have heard him say “but this won’t cause hair fall right?”
So there you go. Unless you are a product of replication from a hairy family line like me, cannot help you there about the ’cause’ which in my case is lucky genes. For future generations to be hairy, selecting hairy people as DNA exchangers is always an option…or not.
Who cares, it’s just hair! Anyone telling you hair has something to do with being a man or woman is just being ignorant (they can believe whatever they want in their space, but have no right to push their opinion on someone else unless asked for).
Between laziness plus, and eternally missing deadlines and scrambling through life like a hamster on a wheel of doom, I do not get any time to maintain anything…let alone hair. I am privileged in the matter of my genes and I just use it.
I shampoo/clean my hair once a week at best. (There was a brief period when I didn’t use shampoo till I found cruelty free product marketed by very empathetic capitalism).
Most days I cannot find my comb and hence I just tie it up. I give exactly 5 mins in the morning to self to get ready after my shower. So if a comb doesn’t walk into my hands in that time… combing doesn’t happen.
Till earlier this year, after several rounds of pneumonia when the doctors specifically asked to make sure my hair is dry, I did not even own a hair dryer. So I really cannot give advice on how to maintain hair.
If you have a job like mine, or the general irritation of getting short hair on the face, long hair can just be tied off and away from the face for extended periods; short hair requires more maintenance in my experience.
However, with long hair like mine or more, in many countries you won’t need clothes. Anything that is illegal to show can be covered up. I am guessing Saudi Arabia won’t count because the amount of hair needed to cover from lower eyelid to toenail? Sorry, even my hairy genes can’t provide that kind of hair.
Everything sounds cooler by adding ‘hairy’ to it. For example, if I decide to become a stripper, my stage name will be ‘the hairy Indian’. On the other hand you will find hair everywhere. Body crevices where long hair has no business belonging in; partner’s body crevices (if you have one).
On that note be extra careful if you murder someone, because chances are you will bury the body with your hair. Hair also will be on – floor, bed, floor….did I mention floor? Floor will have enough hair to make several hairy mammals always; even 30 seconds after cleaning.
Hair can help you pass off as many ethnicities (especially if you have multiple colours – white, original brown, to left over highlights in light brown like me). Add a mask to it, and hello bank robbery! No one will know who was it. Someone recently described me as the long haired hispanic woman!
Hair can keep you warm, but people will also unnecessarily touch it at times. However, with long enough hair you can learn to use it to choke them if they do touch you without asking you!
You can always be Rapunzel and have someone climb into your bedroom when your parents said no… but, do you really want to? On the pro side, when it becomes very apparent you are just lazy about housework, you can begin to comb your hair, taking often upto 30 mins. That will give you a sense of accomplishment, and you can proudly announce on Facebook “I just got myself out of a very hairy situation…kudos to me”.
So choose whatever you want and is your style….
I have a pen as a tattoo, because I love to write. Professionally I am a scientist. Some clear logic, some blue thoughts, some scarlet sarcasm, some pink sword, some black satin- I like to read more...
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