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Healing doesn't happen over a day, but it begins the moment we try not to push away the negative thoughts, rather analyze the past events and take all possible lessons from them.
Healing doesn’t happen over a day, but it begins the moment we try not to push away the negative thoughts, rather analyze the past events and take all possible lessons from them.
Dear fighter,
If you are here reading this post, if you have survived the difficulties life threw at you, you are a fighter.
No, I would not say sorry for what you went through. Yes, I am disgusted and feel pathetic for the ones who put you through this ordeal. The decadence by a few anti-social elements in the society saddens me. But I also know a simple sorry is going to do nothing about it.
I won’t ask you to stay positive, or simply let it go. Trying to bury the past is not the right way to heal.
I would instead ask you to contemplate the events of the past until you are convinced that it was never your fault. I would ask you to accept those incidents as nightmares of your life rather than making efforts to erase them. The truth is the more you try to erase them, the more they will trouble you. It will make you frustrated, and the frustration will manifest into anger or some form of depression.
There might be people around to blame and shame you, but you must know that self-blaming would only be followed by self-harm. I have been in this place once, and the path to healing began only when I stopped the self-blaming.
Healing doesn’t happen over a day, but it begins the moment we try not to push away the negative thoughts, rather analyze the past events and take all possible lessons from them. Everything in moderation is good, likewise, a little dwelling on the past would actually help. So it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to feel low, it’s ok to feel desperate and it’s ok to feel the pain. For it is this pain that will show you your true strength and courage.
I know how it feels to be abused by those who are supposed to protect us. But, I am not a counselor or a therapist. So if none of my words make any sense to you, or even if they make sense but you feel there is nothing you can do about it, then please let someone intervene. Your emotional health gets affected the most. Don’t shy from seeking professional help.
When you have survived hell, you are strong enough to defeat the inner demons too.
With that, I sign-off with lots of love, strength, hope, and a reminder that you have a lot of fight left in you.
A survivor of gender based trauma is affected in ways that go deep, and their worldview can get permanently damaged. It can be really crippling in their day to day life – whether in the personal or public sphere, and sending some comfort their way can help.
We at Women’s Web are collaborating with the Saahas App for Survivors of Gender Violence to reach out to women who need to be heard, and healing, as survivors of gender based violence. Letters to the survivor from our authors will be published on Women’s Web in the coming 10 days, and also on the Saahas website, in a series called “Dear Survivor”.
If you would like to participate, please upload your letter on your Women’s Web dashboard, and if chosen, it will be published.
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When I was little, I had a knack to spin up stories, poems on literally anything, from a butterfly to a fan. With time, the stories started fading. When I became a mother, a plethora read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Being a writer, Nivedita Louis recognises the struggles of a first-time woman writer and helps many articulate their voice with development, content edits as a publisher.
“I usually write during night”, says author Nivedita Louis during our conversation. Chuckling she continues,” It’s easier then to focus solely on writing. Nivedita Louis is a writer, with varied interests and one of the founders of Her Stories, a feminist publishing house, based in Chennai.
In a candid conversation she shared her journey from small-town Tamil Nadu to becoming a history buff, an award-winning author and now a publisher.
Nivedita was born and raised in a small town in Tamil Nadu. It was for schooling that she first arrived in Chennai. Then known as Madras, she recalls being awed by the city. Her love-story with the city, its people and thus began which continues till date. She credits her perseverance and passion to make a difference to her days as a vocational student among the elite sections of Madras.
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