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Healing doesn't happen over a day, but it begins the moment we try not to push away the negative thoughts, rather analyze the past events and take all possible lessons from them.
Healing doesn’t happen over a day, but it begins the moment we try not to push away the negative thoughts, rather analyze the past events and take all possible lessons from them.
If you are here reading this post, if you have survived the difficulties life threw at you, you are a fighter.
No, I would not say sorry for what you went through. Yes, I am disgusted and feel pathetic for the ones who put you through this ordeal. The decadence by a few anti-social elements in the society saddens me. But I also know a simple sorry is going to do nothing about it.
I won’t ask you to stay positive, or simply let it go. Trying to bury the past is not the right way to heal.
I would instead ask you to contemplate the events of the past until you are convinced that it was never your fault. I would ask you to accept those incidents as nightmares of your life rather than making efforts to erase them. The truth is the more you try to erase them, the more they will trouble you. It will make you frustrated, and the frustration will manifest into anger or some form of depression.
There might be people around to blame and shame you, but you must know that self-blaming would only be followed by self-harm. I have been in this place once, and the path to healing began only when I stopped the self-blaming.
Healing doesn’t happen over a day, but it begins the moment we try not to push away the negative thoughts, rather analyze the past events and take all possible lessons from them. Everything in moderation is good, likewise, a little dwelling on the past would actually help. So it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to feel low, it’s ok to feel desperate and it’s ok to feel the pain. For it is this pain that will show you your true strength and courage.
I know how it feels to be abused by those who are supposed to protect us. But, I am not a counselor or a therapist. So if none of my words make any sense to you, or even if they make sense but you feel there is nothing you can do about it, then please let someone intervene. Your emotional health gets affected the most. Don’t shy from seeking professional help.
When you have survived hell, you are strong enough to defeat the inner demons too.
With that, I sign-off with lots of love, strength, hope, and a reminder that you have a lot of fight left in you.
A survivor of gender based trauma is affected in ways that go deep, and their worldview can get permanently damaged. It can be really crippling in their day to day life – whether in the personal or public sphere, and sending some comfort their way can help.
We at Women’s Web are collaborating with the Saahas App for Survivors of Gender Violence to reach out to women who need to be heard, and healing, as survivors of gender based violence. Letters to the survivor from our authors will be published on Women’s Web in the coming 10 days, and also on the Saahas website, in a series called “Dear Survivor”.
If you would like to participate, please upload your letter on your Women’s Web dashboard, and if chosen, it will be published.
Image source: shutterstock
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When I was little, I had a knack to spin up stories, poems on literally anything, from a butterfly to a fan. With time, the stories started fading. When I became a mother, a plethora read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
As long as teachers are competent in their job, and adhere to the workplace code of conduct, how does it matter what they do in their personal lives?
A 30 year old Associate Professor at a well-known University, according to an FIR filed by her, was forced to resign because the father of one of her students complained that he found his son looking at photographs of her, which according to him were “objectionable” and “bordering on nudity”.
There are two aspects to this case, which are equally disturbing, and which together make me question where we are heading as a society.
When the father of an 18 year old finds his son looking at photographs of a lady in a swimsuit, he can do many things. What this parent allegedly did was to dash off a letter to the University which states: