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Being single is still looked down upon in our society. However, women are taking a stand and not being in toxic relationships where they aren't respected.
Being single is still looked down upon in our society. However, women are taking a stand and not being in toxic relationships where they aren’t respected.
There are two school of thoughts – One says when people are afraid of being lonely and criticised by others, they find or choose a partner. Meanwhile the second one says being single is not scary, neither is it something one should be ashamed of. Moreover, it certainly doesn’t mean you are lonely.
I’m sure a lot of you must have date some men who made you feel like a princess at the beginning of the relationship. However, as the relationship progressed, they would have made you feel horrible about yourself.
So, here’s the thing – being single is not scary, being in a claustrophobic relationship is. And asking for love, respect and getting hut when you don’t receive it is also scary.
‘I am not scared of crying, I am scared of getting hurt,’ a lot of us have definitely said this. And getting hurt or having your hear broken will bring anyone to tears.
However, crying doesn’t make you any less a person. It is okay to cry. But making false promises, while the other person cares for you and treats you with love and respect, is not.
I am not afraid of conversations, I am afraid of talking with a guy who doesn’t understand me. Conversations are more than just listening. A person who doesn’t respect and criticise ideas and opinions will not be able to have a meaningful interesting relationship. Most of their relationships will probably fail due to their know-it-all attitude.
I am not afraid of spending time alone, I am afraid of doing so in bad company. There are a lot of things you can do on your own, for which you don’t really need company.
However, when someone thinks spending time together or partaking in activities together is a mere obligation, it is better you spend time with yourself.
I am not afraid of making mistakes, but the only mistake I am scared of is being with a wrong guy. Mistakes teach me what I should or shouldn’t do. They are a part of life and often give valuable life lessons.
But, imagine being with someone who judges you solely on the basis of your mistakes. That is a horrible feeling and you don’t need to be with someone who doesn’t see you past your mistakes.
I am not afraid of making love, I am afraid of making love without emotions. If there is no warmth, and emotional or mental connection, it is simply an act of satisfying ones physical needs. To me, it feels like objectifying a human who has feelings and desires.
I am not afraid of being by myself, I am afraid of being with someone who doesn’t let me be myself. Being with someone who makes me feel like nothing I do is good enough or someone who tries to make me someone I am not isn’t worth my time or feelings. Neither is someone who cannot accept me as I am with my flaws and past.
One can explore herself, have self-love and self-esteem and value herself in this tiny world without being lost and judged.
A version of this was earlier published here.
Picture credits: Still from Amazon series Four More Shots, Please
Social reformer, Freethinker, Experimentalist, 1 Part Entrepreneur ,2 Parts Educator ,3 Parts Blogger ,4 Parts poetess, Too many Parts. A impenitent, non-conformist, adventurous, boho soul and an admirer of life. Loves my Indian roots, read more...
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For International Day of Elimination of Violence Against Women, let's look at how we 'accept' mothers who avenge violence against their kids, but not wives who fight back.
The silver screen is replete with depictions of male rage and men engaging in violence, but when women engage in violence, even when it is reactionary violence, it doesn’t sit right with us. We allow mothers (as portrayed in Sridevi’s Mom and Raveena Tandon’s Maatr) to avenge their daughters and resort to violence when all else fails, but when the abuser is an intimate partner, the rules appear to be different.
Depictions of female rage on screen garner mixed reactions. We root for protagonists and films we agree with like Mom or Maatr, but there are also films like Darlings which drew flak for its depictions of reactionary violence.
This begs the question, which women on screen are allowed to fight back and why do we root for some of these characters while refusing to see where others come from?
This Generation To Generation Violence towards A Daughter-in-law Needs To Stop!
It is ironic how women in the same home do not think twice before harassing a woman who left her parents and family behind to live with her husband.
“My daughter needs a husband who listens to her. He should leave his family to stay with her after marriage. He should be well-off and not let her do chores.”
“I also need an obedient daughter-in-law, who will be an unpaid servant and a punching bag who shouldn’t have a life of her own.”
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