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Being single is still looked down upon in our society. However, women are taking a stand and not being in toxic relationships where they aren't respected.
Being single is still looked down upon in our society. However, women are taking a stand and not being in toxic relationships where they aren’t respected.
There are two school of thoughts – One says when people are afraid of being lonely and criticised by others, they find or choose a partner. Meanwhile the second one says being single is not scary, neither is it something one should be ashamed of. Moreover, it certainly doesn’t mean you are lonely.
I’m sure a lot of you must have date some men who made you feel like a princess at the beginning of the relationship. However, as the relationship progressed, they would have made you feel horrible about yourself.
So, here’s the thing – being single is not scary, being in a claustrophobic relationship is. And asking for love, respect and getting hut when you don’t receive it is also scary.
‘I am not scared of crying, I am scared of getting hurt,’ a lot of us have definitely said this. And getting hurt or having your hear broken will bring anyone to tears.
However, crying doesn’t make you any less a person. It is okay to cry. But making false promises, while the other person cares for you and treats you with love and respect, is not.
I am not afraid of conversations, I am afraid of talking with a guy who doesn’t understand me. Conversations are more than just listening. A person who doesn’t respect and criticise ideas and opinions will not be able to have a meaningful interesting relationship. Most of their relationships will probably fail due to their know-it-all attitude.
I am not afraid of spending time alone, I am afraid of doing so in bad company. There are a lot of things you can do on your own, for which you don’t really need company.
However, when someone thinks spending time together or partaking in activities together is a mere obligation, it is better you spend time with yourself.
I am not afraid of making mistakes, but the only mistake I am scared of is being with a wrong guy. Mistakes teach me what I should or shouldn’t do. They are a part of life and often give valuable life lessons.
But, imagine being with someone who judges you solely on the basis of your mistakes. That is a horrible feeling and you don’t need to be with someone who doesn’t see you past your mistakes.
I am not afraid of making love, I am afraid of making love without emotions. If there is no warmth, and emotional or mental connection, it is simply an act of satisfying ones physical needs. To me, it feels like objectifying a human who has feelings and desires.
I am not afraid of being by myself, I am afraid of being with someone who doesn’t let me be myself. Being with someone who makes me feel like nothing I do is good enough or someone who tries to make me someone I am not isn’t worth my time or feelings. Neither is someone who cannot accept me as I am with my flaws and past.
One can explore herself, have self-love and self-esteem and value herself in this tiny world without being lost and judged.
A version of this was earlier published here.
Picture credits: Still from Amazon series Four More Shots, Please
Gender Equality Advocate, TEDx Speaker, Social Reformer, Sociopreneur, Human Rights Activist, Pad woman of Odisha , Writer, Motivational Speaker, Art connoisseur...
An impenitent, non-conformist, adventurous, boho soul and an admirer of life. Loves my Indian read more...
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A feminist man sometimes seems like an oxymoron, but maybe there are some out there. How is it to be married to a feminist man?
How is it to be married to a feminist man?
This is a working list. Will keep adding to it.
Do you also have a feminist man at home? And if yes, what is it to be married to him? Do share.
"There is a story and a vision which makes us gravitate towards cinema. Even as we worked as assistants on ads, we realised that cinema was our true calling," say Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh Raseen.
The Railway Men. Mili. Cuttputli. The Diplomat. Bade Miyan Chote Miyan. And more…
Let me introduce to you the talented designer duo who have worked on these, and can be considered today’s upcoming costume designers for the screen. Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh.
Having studied at NIFT, Gunpreet Kaur Mann sent her portfolio out to several designers. Her first gig was as an assistant stylist with Manoshi and Rushi, who also happen to be a designer duo. She worked on an ad film starring Saif Ali Khan and eventually landed a full time job with designer Vikram Phadnis. Years of experience as assistant costume designer followed, which eventually led her to getting a break.
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