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Whether you're fat or thin, there will be people out there judging you and your every move. But instead of judging, what if you tried to understand them?
Whether you’re fat or thin, there will be people out there judging you and your every move. But instead of judging, what if you tried to understand them?
Have you, or your friends or family ever been criticised for your weight? And have any of you been labelled ‘too fat’ or ‘too thin’? Does it not feel unfair to you?
During college, I was a part of a drama team. I was in the production and props team. And I am grateful I wasn’t a part of the casting team. Often, I saw a lot of bias and partiality among them.
The roles were allocated according to one’s body shape and size – the ones who abided by the definition of fit and beautiful were selected as the protagonist. Meanwhile, the ones who were too thin and fat were cast as their siblings, friends or parents. Is it acceptable to give the protagonist role to someone who is an average actor but pretty while overlooking a deserving actor simply because they are fat?
Bollywood, too, follows a similar trend. According to a research conducted on children in between the ages five and ten. When given a choice between pictures of women who looked thin and pretty or fat with scars, they chose the former while body-shaming the latter. Can you imagine what our children are observing and learning from us and our society?
Whose definition are these anyway? Whoever said looking average, or being fat or thin was a disease? If it isn’t, why are people body-shamed or shamed for the way they look?
We often hear parents and relatives describe a prospective groom or bride by body shaming them. They will say things like, ‘her nose is a little improper,’ or ‘she is dark,’ ‘he is fat and average looking,’ or even, ‘Oh her daughter is so beautiful.’ We are often told that fat or very thin people cannot find love due to their appearance. And even if they do, they will find someone just as fat or as thin as they are.
The real problem is being judged by your own family or the ones who have no right to comment or interfere in your life. You are constantly bullied by such people.
And the impact of body shaming remains forever. Even if they become the weight that is socially acceptable, they will carry scars of low self-esteem, low confidence and self-conscious for the rest of their life.
Most people are fat or too thin due to reasons one cannot even imagine. Do not judge people instantly. At least ask them the real reason behind their health.
And if you are genuinely concerned about a loved one, here is what you can do to help them feel better about themselves:
You have your faults, but others have them too. Let’s learn to be non-judgemental and accept each other’s flaws.
Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie Dum Laga Ke Haisha!
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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