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We often tend to focus on the things we don't have, rather than what we currently have. When will this vicious cycle ever stop?
We often tend to focus on the things we don’t have, rather than what we currently have. When will this vicious cycle ever stop?
Let me share some random moments of my life that I have taken the time to reflect on in hindsight.
I screamed from the dining ” Ah Amma , food is not yummy. What have you made? Don’t you know, I don’t like this?”
In a chit chat with a colleague “Hey dude, you earn more than me. How lucky you are.”
On a serious gossip note, ” I do not own a house like yours. I am not so lucky as you ”
Attending an extravagant wedding ” Ah, she is so beautiful and rich, Why am I not lucky?”
These thoughts often run in many of our minds and can become a vicious cycle. I realised that I tend to always focused on comparing and focusing on the things I don’t seem to have in life when I have some of these conversations with people.
Whether I had food to eat or not, whether I had a roof to live or not , whether I had money for all my needs or not , never bothered me. All that I bothered was the comparison between you and me. I feared being judged based on the material possessions I own “This ain’t enough”.
This is a constant game I kept playing all through my life without knowing how badly it affected my well being. The thought was, “the more we have, the richer we are” which is a wrong approach towards life.
In this race, I did not realize that I was getting entangled in the negative space. This was a a space, which never satisfied me because my needs were replaced by my wants. I never felt truly and happy and grateful in my skin and I was never thankful for what I had. What I had was never enough and I just wanted more and more.
Looking back, I always had a tendency to yearn for what I did not have. As days passed, so did my age and my inner voice started craving to be heard. It did shake me and my emotions. I was unshakable initially but then the constant thrust to seek the truth did break my shell. That’s when I believed in gratitude- a gesture which does wonders in our materialistic lives.
The enlightenment made me realize that the universe has been kind on me and we have been ignoring those signs. I then started being grateful for all that I possessed. I started finding happiness in being me rather than wanting to be somebody else. This approach towards life gave me all that I was looking for. The ultimate joy and contentment always helped keep me blissful and ecstatic and more importantly, grounded.
Stay Grateful. Keep Smiling.
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For International Day of Elimination of Violence Against Women, let's look at how we 'accept' mothers who avenge violence against their kids, but not wives who fight back.
The silver screen is replete with depictions of male rage and men engaging in violence, but when women engage in violence, even when it is reactionary violence, it doesn’t sit right with us. We allow mothers (as portrayed in Sridevi’s Mom and Raveena Tandon’s Maatr) to avenge their daughters and resort to violence when all else fails, but when the abuser is an intimate partner, the rules appear to be different.
Depictions of female rage on screen garner mixed reactions. We root for protagonists and films we agree with like Mom or Maatr, but there are also films like Darlings which drew flak for its depictions of reactionary violence.
This begs the question, which women on screen are allowed to fight back and why do we root for some of these characters while refusing to see where others come from?
This Generation To Generation Violence towards A Daughter-in-law Needs To Stop!
It is ironic how women in the same home do not think twice before harassing a woman who left her parents and family behind to live with her husband.
“My daughter needs a husband who listens to her. He should leave his family to stay with her after marriage. He should be well-off and not let her do chores.”
“I also need an obedient daughter-in-law, who will be an unpaid servant and a punching bag who shouldn’t have a life of her own.”
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