Check out these 8 Government Loan Schemes That You Can Benefit From As A Woman In Business.
Thanks to the influence of movies and books, we have has several definitions of love. But what does love mean? Is it losing yourself or letting them go?
For me, ‘love is madness.’ It is a state of mind where we are ready to go to any lengths of madness. But it doesn’t mean it’s wrong, it just means there is a willingness to accept anything in the pursuit of our happiness. Deep down, it is an egocentric state of mind.
We say all kinds of things like, we are selfless with the other person to let them mistreat us yet stick to them. But, we tolerate everything because a part of our mind is convinced that our happiness lies with them. It is like we are addicted to the idea of being with the person that other things stop mattering.
And it is only fair that we often associate our romantic ideas with what we see in fiction- our escape mechanism from reality. None of the things we see in movies may actually work out the same way in reality. Like we cannot stalk a person and make them fall for us. Neither can we expect the bride to come running towards her ex while the groom stands at the altar. Then again, fiction sometimes captures the essence of what the fuss of love is all about.
And ‘The Holiday’ is one such movie. It is the story of two women in toxic relationships who decided to take a break and swap houses for change. What follows is a breezy drama of what happens when they say goodbye to the toxic people in their lives and embrace as it comes.
Love eventually finds them in the most unexpected scenarios. And that teaches us that it is important to choose the people who choose us. Instead of waiting for a miracle to make the person we choose.
As heartwarming as the movie is, it seems unfair to the people who immediately cannot find a person who loves them. It makes things seem like the moving on phase only happens when you find the next person you love. What if that takes time? And what are we supposed to do till then?
And that is exactly where the movie ‘Queen’ scores! If you want to move on from someone, all you need is ‘you.’ No one else. If you can fill yourself with so much love, there is no way another person has to come and fill the void that your ex has created.
It may take a while for anyone to come, but that doesn’t mean you have to wait until you find that person. Even before that you can very well shove your engagement ring back at your ex and move on like a queen indeed.
There is a Tamil movie ’96 which was a huge hit. It is about a school romance where the lovers (?) part ways due to circumstances. They still reminiscence their memories in a school reunion several years later.
The movie has always gotten on my nerves. It is extremely superficial for a 40-year-old man to not have moved on from a high school romance. What makes it worse is that he still passes out when his high school crush touches him.
I would describe the movie as one about a coward who never confessed his love. But still stalked her till she got married and then, when she moved on, wrecked her life by telling her.
I would call this a classic example of what to do when you really love someone. But then again, what does one do when one really loves a person?
You know what you can do when you’re in love with someone? Be open about what you feel and respect the other person’s decision. ‘Poo’ is that idealistic portrayal of love- one that is uncommon in mainstream cinema.
Since they were kids, Maari is madly in love with her cousin. She was open about it- only not with him but with the whole world. However, when he refuses to marry her, citing complications in marrying blood relatives, she respects his decision. Even though she was heartbroken, and left with longing and suffering, there was something phenomenal about her love. She lets him go, only for him.
Throughout the movie, she never persuades him or mourns over not marrying him. She simply wishes the best for him and eventually breaks down when she discovers later that he has an unhappy married life.
When I watched the movie 11 years ago, I was completely awestruck by her. But as I grow older, I realise this is what being selfless is all about. Being selfless is not trying to limit that person for our happiness. Love comes when you respect the person, no matter what they choose to do.
But no matter how much I idolised her, I wouldn’t want anyone to be like her. That saves so much trauma. The ultimate purpose of human existence is to be happy. And to be happy, the only way is to keep our hearts open and embrace the changes life happens to shower us with.
Quite like Raju does in ‘C/o Kancharapalem.‘ We have to be brave enough to never let go off the love that comes to us at all stages of life. The love that comes transcending the societal barriers. You are never too old to fall in love and whenever it happens, be sure to fight for it no matter what happens.
Raju gives hope in life without romanticising it with the past but just by embracing the present. No matter how twisted our stories get, the universe always finds its way to give us everything we deserve. Just open your arms and be ready to accept it.
The possibilities in life are never-ending!
“Try not to resist the changes, that come your way. Instead let life through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?” – 40 Rules of Love.
A version of this was first published here.
Picture credits: Stills from the movies mentioned in the article.
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!
Wannabe optimist. Argumentative. Dangerously impulsive. Expert idiot. Yet a spirited versatile. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
"I chose to go out into the remote, wild, unknown, and make it home," says entrepreneur Kiranjeet Ahluwalia Chaturvedi, who owns Birdsong & Beyond.
The story of my mountain home Birdsong & Beyond started taking shape in 2009, on the internet, the way many stories do these days.
My childhood fascination for a life in the Himalayas led to an internship with a central Himalayan NGO instead of a much prized corporate assignment. But when they offered me a full-time job, I refused. I was overcome by fear and a lack of confidence.
My other longings pulled me away – the longing to fit in, to earn validation from others. By my mid-30s, with all the trappings of a middle-class urban life in place, the call of the snows couldn’t be ignored anymore. So I got to work on it with clearer intentions and a stronger sense of what I needed for myself, and why.
Many Indian elderly are firm believers in enslaving a daughter-in-law in the name of tradition which is actually a tradition of oppression and not of religious faith.
Albeit, the popular culture has interpreted scriptures as suggesting that Kanyadaan is the supreme form of donation given to someone, the connotation that the word donation alludes to definitely objectifies the girl.
Even when the exegesis justify the act of giving away the daughter, considering it a ritual to mark the initiation of the daughter into her husband’s gotra and her becoming the part of his family tree.
There is no denial of the fact that this initiation is not required on the part of the groom thereby formally denoting the end of the filial ties with the daughter as it was popularly instructed to the bride during the Vidai ceremonies:
Please enter your email address