The woes of matrimony! Finding the right man who’s woke enough is a task! But here we have three major red flags for you to run away from if you see them!
There is a constant acquisition that Indian men look for a well-educated, good-looking, decent, family girl who can make round rotis. For the uninitiated, this may sound alarming, but, trust me, no Indian girl finds it even remotely disturbing.
We know this is how it works and have no qualms moving on without wasting a second. In my honest opinion, the above ad is at least straight forward, though problematic. It, at least, warns women beforehand.
But, there are a lot of ‘educated’ men from ‘decent families’ men who have perfectly mastered the art of masquerading their sexism as woke-ness. This is where women get confused since they are always trained to see any remote resemblance of good as benevolence.
So, this piece is basically to alert my fellow sisters from such latent sexism and to swipe away at the first chance they get. And, to my fellow Indian men, let me tell you, we are indeed aware of your silly tactics.
It is okay to want a working woman and be honest about it. But, make sure it is conveyed properly.
“We are looking for an ambitious, career-oriented, financially independent girl” – X
“Yes, we will let the girl work after marriage” No and no! Who the hell are you to ‘let’ her?
We are looking for a girl who works. I will cook, clean and manage the house equally – Well, hello equality!
This is how they convey that looks don’t matter.
“I am not bothered about the girl’s complexion, looks or background” – Hell No!
If you are really ‘woke’ you need not distinguish it specifically in the first place. Basically, you have to just SHUT UP on this one.
Only two percent of Indian men qualify the ‘handsome’ standard they set themselves. Yet, most Indian girls never openly say they are not bothered about the man’s looks, even if they are. Simply because it is rude to distinguish the good and bad (?) looking ones, especially if you claim to be ‘woke’.
Guess what is more horrid than being an open casteist person? Writing this statement unabashedly on your profile!
“We are very liberal. We don’t care about your caste or community” – X
Caste, community, gender (if applicable) No bar – As simple as that.
Well, there are other ‘important’ criteria like ‘looking for a traditional girl,’ a ‘homely adjusting girl,’ a ‘girl interested in cooking,’ a ‘funny girl,’ you name it and it is there! And dealing with all that, honestly, is beyond my and this blog’s scope. But dear women, if you see any of these three red flags or their variations, run for your lives! You KNOW these are the ones to run from!
A version of this was first published here.
Picture credits: YouTube
Wannabe optimist. Argumentative. Dangerously impulsive. Expert idiot. Yet a spirited versatile.
Why Are Marriages A Necessity For Indian Women, Instead Of A Choice?
Unless We All Speak Up Against Sexism In Our Families, Our Daughters Will Have Uncertain Futures
Maybe Indian ‘Boys’ Have Forgotten To Grow Up And Catch Up With The Modern Indian Woman!
Deepika, Priyanka, Or Sushma Swaraj – Trolled ‘Coz They’re Women, Not For An Ideology
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!