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The woes of matrimony! Finding the right man who's woke enough is a task! But here we have three major red flags for you to run away from if you see them!
The woes of matrimony! Finding the right man who’s woke enough is a task! But here we have three major red flags for you to run away from if you see them!
There is a constant acquisition that Indian men look for a well-educated, good-looking, decent, family girl who can make round rotis. For the uninitiated, this may sound alarming, but, trust me, no Indian girl finds it even remotely disturbing.
We know this is how it works and have no qualms moving on without wasting a second. In my honest opinion, the above ad is at least straight forward, though problematic. It, at least, warns women beforehand.
But, there are a lot of ‘educated’ men from ‘decent families’ men who have perfectly mastered the art of masquerading their sexism as woke-ness. This is where women get confused since they are always trained to see any remote resemblance of good as benevolence.
So, this piece is basically to alert my fellow sisters from such latent sexism and to swipe away at the first chance they get. And, to my fellow Indian men, let me tell you, we are indeed aware of your silly tactics.
It is okay to want a working woman and be honest about it. But, make sure it is conveyed properly.
“We are looking for an ambitious, career-oriented, financially independent girl” – X
“Yes, we will let the girl work after marriage” No and no! Who the hell are you to ‘let’ her?
We are looking for a girl who works. I will cook, clean and manage the house equally – Well, hello equality!
This is how they convey that looks don’t matter.
“I am not bothered about the girl’s complexion, looks or background” – Hell No!
If you are really ‘woke’ you need not distinguish it specifically in the first place. Basically, you have to just SHUT UP on this one.
Only two percent of Indian men qualify the ‘handsome’ standard they set themselves. Yet, most Indian girls never openly say they are not bothered about the man’s looks, even if they are. Simply because it is rude to distinguish the good and bad (?) looking ones, especially if you claim to be ‘woke’.
Guess what is more horrid than being an open casteist person? Writing this statement unabashedly on your profile!
“We are very liberal. We don’t care about your caste or community” – X
Caste, community, gender (if applicable) No bar – As simple as that.
Well, there are other ‘important’ criteria like ‘looking for a traditional girl,’ a ‘homely adjusting girl,’ a ‘girl interested in cooking,’ a ‘funny girl,’ you name it and it is there! And dealing with all that, honestly, is beyond my and this blog’s scope. But dear women, if you see any of these three red flags or their variations, run for your lives! You KNOW these are the ones to run from!
A version of this was first published here.
Picture credits: YouTube
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My house-help asked excitedly, “I am going for wedding. Can you let me wear your red & black saree? To be honest I was stumped for a moment; I didn’t know what to say but I still said yes.
I lent a gorgeous saree to my house-help for a wedding in her family. Soon I stated getting questions if I would wear that saree again or if I was okay to be seen wearing the same saree my house-help was wearing?
We are all so conditioned to give our used clothes to our house-helps but are we okay to wear the clothes they were wearing?
A few days ago she came excitedly to me, “I am going for a family wedding. I want to wear your red & black saree, Ill wash and give it to you after the function. Please can you let me wear it?”
Beauty is a very clever, very evil capitalist tool. It traps those who have it into hanging on to it for dear life and those who don't into mutilating, torturing themselves to achieve the unachievable.
I recently wrote a piece about MP Shashi Tharoor’s tweet in which he had shared a pic with six women parliamentarians tagging them and saying “Who says the Lok Sabha isn’t an attractive place to work?”
There was a rash of comments on the post shared on Instagram, which ranged from “chill, it’s just a compliment” and “stop overthinking compliments”, to (worried) men lamenting about “these feminazi”.
Here’s my answer to all those comments.
While Indian women have benefited from feminism, Indian men have remained traditional and in trouble if they don't catch up soon.
While Indian women have benefited from feminism, Indian men have remained traditional and in trouble if they don’t catch up soon.
As a part of my job, which is writing, I imagine a lot. Today, I would like you to imagine- the life of a kid, not very old, about 5-7 years only. What do they do?
Well, they are there, they have fun, they go to school at the most. Everything else is done by their parents. From making sure they eat on time to taking care of what they wear, and also who they meet and be friends with.
We have become intolerant of things that should not really matter, and the politics of trolling makes for violence against women, as soft targets. Why this mindset?
Society has become increasingly intolerant and people out are reinforcing their narrow minded ideologies. A handful of them are raising their concern and voices to change the social fabric, yet many are still locking horns with them.
Plenty of controversies have surfaced at the heart of debate. Politics, nationalism, religion, beef, rifts on spiritual gurus and much more are highly predominant. Last but not the least the biggest war of words is spelled for “Woman”. Present day when notions of “Women Empowerment” soar high in air, our women are still trolled for their sitting and dressing postures.