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The woes of matrimony! Finding the right man who's woke enough is a task! But here we have three major red flags for you to run away from if you see them!
The woes of matrimony! Finding the right man who’s woke enough is a task! But here we have three major red flags for you to run away from if you see them!
There is a constant acquisition that Indian men look for a well-educated, good-looking, decent, family girl who can make round rotis. For the uninitiated, this may sound alarming, but, trust me, no Indian girl finds it even remotely disturbing.
We know this is how it works and have no qualms moving on without wasting a second. In my honest opinion, the above ad is at least straight forward, though problematic. It, at least, warns women beforehand.
But, there are a lot of ‘educated’ men from ‘decent families’ men who have perfectly mastered the art of masquerading their sexism as woke-ness. This is where women get confused since they are always trained to see any remote resemblance of good as benevolence.
So, this piece is basically to alert my fellow sisters from such latent sexism and to swipe away at the first chance they get. And, to my fellow Indian men, let me tell you, we are indeed aware of your silly tactics.
It is okay to want a working woman and be honest about it. But, make sure it is conveyed properly.
“We are looking for an ambitious, career-oriented, financially independent girl” – X
“Yes, we will let the girl work after marriage” No and no! Who the hell are you to ‘let’ her?
We are looking for a girl who works. I will cook, clean and manage the house equally – Well, hello equality!
This is how they convey that looks don’t matter.
“I am not bothered about the girl’s complexion, looks or background” – Hell No!
If you are really ‘woke’ you need not distinguish it specifically in the first place. Basically, you have to just SHUT UP on this one.
Only two percent of Indian men qualify the ‘handsome’ standard they set themselves. Yet, most Indian girls never openly say they are not bothered about the man’s looks, even if they are. Simply because it is rude to distinguish the good and bad (?) looking ones, especially if you claim to be ‘woke’.
Guess what is more horrid than being an open casteist person? Writing this statement unabashedly on your profile!
“We are very liberal. We don’t care about your caste or community” – X
Caste, community, gender (if applicable) No bar – As simple as that.
Well, there are other ‘important’ criteria like ‘looking for a traditional girl,’ a ‘homely adjusting girl,’ a ‘girl interested in cooking,’ a ‘funny girl,’ you name it and it is there! And dealing with all that, honestly, is beyond my and this blog’s scope. But dear women, if you see any of these three red flags or their variations, run for your lives! You KNOW these are the ones to run from!
A version of this was first published here.
Picture credits: YouTube
Wannabe optimist. Argumentative. Dangerously impulsive. Expert idiot. Yet a spirited versatile. read more...
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Relatives kissing children's penises made me wonder how this is leaving boys vulnerable to potential abuse under the garb of affection.
As we witness in all Indian family gatherings – whether a wedding, a birthday, or a summer vacation – nostalgia soaks us all.
However, one such gathering exposed me to a horrific practice that, though common in many houses worldwide, is very problematic.
It all started with my horror at hearing one of the supposedly funny anecdotes about my cousin’s birth.
Many men suffer from an inferiority complex when their women are earning. They feel their wives will rise higher in the professional worlds.
I hear many women tell me about how they are privileged that their husbands do not want them to work.
One claims that her husband wants her to have a luxurious life and just relax and rest. Another feels her husband just wants her to stay at home and enjoy cooking. Some feel that their husbands just want them to look after the children. Some other women look at these women and feel that they are so lucky and fortunate to have such loving and caring husbands.
My question to these luxurious women is that then why did you educate yourselves? Why did you painstakingly study? Is your purpose in life to only be dependent on your husbands for money? Do you not have any skills that can be utilized? What about teaching and showing others what you have learnt.