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Over the past decade, crime against women has taken on such horrifying proportions and nuances, that women have now started becoming suspicious of everything.
“Was she burnt alive?… I hope they strangled her before, or cut her throat… I hope they were humane enough to just rape and kill. I hope she did not suffer for long and died soon.”
These are thoughts that went through my mind when I heard of a burnt body of a woman found after a rape and murder.
For half of the world, these thoughts may make no sense. How can a killer be humane? And how can anyone wish for someone’s death? Isn’t death the worst tragedy?
How much I wish I could say that these sentences make no sense, I wish I could say that the person who thought like this had lost their sanity. But I cannot. These words, even though they may seem absurd for a human being, are reality and a fear-driven wish for half of the world. The women.
Where are we reaching as a society?
A few days back, I was scrolling through my feed, when I came across a post by the Dalai Lama saying Compassion is a human being’s basic nature. I felt a wave of positivity in my female heart, but that feeling could not last long -only until I saw the next piece of news. “A girl commits suicide after her boyfriend leaked a video of their intimate moments.”
I felt dumb for believing in the goodness in human beings. Am I a fool? How could I expect humans to be humane? Or am I just being cynical?
This struggle is real for most of us. We feel bad about always looking at the bad side of the world. We are taught to be optimistic and that the world is a beautiful place. People say there is more good than bad in this world. But why is that good not visible? Why is that good not enough to spark a little bit of hope in us?
This scepticism in women is not just because of the sexual harrasment or domestic violence and rape. Now, we are not so afraid of being raped, we have become more afraid of the behaviour that we would receive from the rapist. Rape has started to seem a small crime.
Many people might not agree with this idea and I have no issues with them and neither do I have any intention to criticise them. But, the point here is, the crimes against women now have crossed the barrier of sexual assaults.
Now, we don’t shiver on hearing the news of rape. But we do shiver when we get to know that they inserted rod in her private parts. We shiver when we read the news about a victim being burnt alive. We shiver when we see the mutilated bodies of the victims. We shiver when we find that 7 people were involved and none of them thought differently. We shiver when 25 people are ready to rape a minor when they are invited and none of them rejects the idea. We shiver at the thought of a person calling another person to invite him for a rape like he’s inviting him for a birthday party. But most of all we shiver because it could have been one of us.
As a woman, whenever I go out, I cannot stop myself from imagining the future of girls and women I meet outside. I often think “Will this little girl return home today? Will this hard-working student live long enough to make a career? Will this IAS aspirant be spared from the eyes of the animals present in humans?”
Once, I tried to discuss this insecurity with one of male colleague. His response was that we all are not sure of our future. Why are you making this only about women?
Yes, my dear friend, you are right. Anyone can die at any moment but not everyone lives in the fear of being murdered by a stranger, not everyone have to be sceptical about everyone from their teacher to taxi driver, from the delivery boy to their own brothers and fathers.
Men have the privilege of being optimistic but women don’t have that. We always have to consider the worst in everyone and guess why? Because if something happens to me, you people will not even think for a second before saying “You should have been more careful!… You were stupid.” Because, of course my safety is in my own hands!
Image source: pixabay
Shweta Verma is currently pursuing her masters in Mathematics from University of Delhi. read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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