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We're a social animal, but so many of us find it difficult to talk about (or respond to others talking about) sadness and other negative things.
We’re a social animal, but so many of us find it difficult to talk about (or respond to others talking about) sadness and other negative things.
Over the last few weeks, a thought has been nagging me.
Indians are a strange lot. We love chattering but only about shiny, happy matters. Broach a complicated question and we clam up. In fact, we can go on for hours about geopolitics or the latest Bollywood gossip, but do not utter even a squeak about things that truly affect our lives. Maybe, we think that not chatting about it will make it go away.
People only want to see glowing pregnancy and adorable baby photographs. Nobody wants to discuss things like miscarriages, high risk pregnancies, and fertility treatments.
People only want to see in-love couples, and shiny wedding photos. Nobody wants to converse about divorces and heartbreaks.
People only want to hear about awards, promotions, and salary hikes. Nobody wants to express anything about layoffs and toxic office cultures.
People only want to know about certifications, degrees, and pedigrees. Nobody wants to say anything about failures.
Despite India being a collectivist society, Indians are retreating into shells. What we do not realize is that many of us are battling demons. Yet, we feel that we are the only ones fighting, because we have not heard anyone else mention it.
The moment we ourselves start sharing, we will realize we are not alone in our struggles. (Personal Experience!) And, disclosing does ease the burden. (Or, if you are a cynic, think of it this way – misery loves company!)
So, the next time, I am going to ditch the small talk and the political discussions, and will instead ask, “Are you grappling with anything?” or “Is there something you want to speak about?” or “Is there something I can help you with?”.
(I wish more women asked, “Are you okay?” rather than the pathetic “So, when are you giving the good news?”)
Author’s note: Before you send me brickbats, here’s my humble submission – I am not against talking about happy subjects. I just request that a balance to be maintained.
A version of this was first published here.
Image source: unsplash
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Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Bhool Bhulaiyaa 2 might have had a box office collection of 260 crores INR and entertained Indian audiences, but it's full of problematic stereotypes.
Bhool Bhulaiyaa 2 starts with a scene in which the protagonist, Ruhaan (played by Kartik Aaryan) finds an abandoned pink suitcase in a moving cable car and thinks there is a bomb inside it.
Just then, he sees an unknown person (Kiara Advani) wave and gesture at him to convey that the suitcase is theirs. Ruhaan, with the widest possible smile, says, “Bag main bomb nahi hai, bomb ka bag hai,” (There isn’t a bomb in the bag, the bag belongs to a bomb).
Who even writes such dialogues in 2022?
Be it a working or a homemaker mother, every parent needs a support system to be able to manage their children, housework, and mental health.
Let me at the outset clarify that when I mention ‘work’ here, it includes ANY work. So, it could be the work at home done by a homemaker parent or it could be work in a professional/entrepreneurial environment.
Either way, every parent struggles to find that fine balance between ‘work’ and ‘parenting’, especially with younger kids who still need high emotional and physical support from their caretakers. And not just any balance, but more importantly, balance that lets them keep their own sanity intact!