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I Was An Outgoing And Happy Child Till I Was 11, But Then, Things Changed Drastically

Posted: December 23, 2019

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The author was a happy-go-lucky child till she hit puberty which was when she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. This is her story.

I am here to tell you my story. This story has two episodes – the past and the present. You may ask me what about the future but my reply would be ‘I don’t plan that far due to the past.’

Let us start with the episodes:

When I was young and cheerful

I was a cheerful, innocent and outgoing kid till I was 11 years old. But then, early puberty and weight gain started happening to me. And with that began people’s free advice and comment passing. I was constantly told how to lose weight and my looks were constantly criticised in front of my parents and my elder sister. No one understood that it made me conscious and ashamed of the way I looked.

Early puberty meant bleeding and breast development. Now, no one told me what to expect or what the best way to deal with those emotions was.

Everyone commented on my appearance– my teachers, my close relatives and even my family. This made me draw myself into a shell and I became quiet and an introvert.

Then things changed…

It was a 180 degree turn from the person I was as a child. I became lonely and found it difficult to trust people. Only when I knew that someone wouldn’t hurt me, did I open up to them.

This emotional isolation finally culminated into nervous breakdown in college. At age of 21, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was in third year of my college that time.

With my resolve, I got out of that phase and passed my engineering with first division. I promised myself to go get a job and become independent. And with my independence, I wasn’t going to stop doing things I loved- reading, painting and travelling.

I am living life, my way

Living with bipolar disorder is not easy. Despite being on medication, and doing everything by the book, there are moments when it gets out of hand. This is when I need to be taken to the hospital. Only thing is, earlier, I had to be forced to go to the hospital but now, I recognise my own behaviour and go on my own accord.

Unfortunately, people apart from my parents don’t get this and think getting a partner will magically cure me and I would be well. These ignorant people are my friends, suitors and relatives. Some think I am mentally weak and try to take advantage of me.

In conclusion, I am mentally strong and independent and don’t need pity handouts. If you think you have outsmarted me and taken advantage of me, you are mistaken, I have let you do what you have done.

Lastly, to all the women, girls and others who are going through it, I would say you are stronger than you think and if I can do it, so can you.

Keep fighting 🙂

Picture credits: Pexels

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I am happy-go-lucky person,a quiet observer of things going around me.I

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