You’re A Year Older, Daughter, And Here’s What I Wish For Your 4th Birthday

A mother shares the things she would like to wish for her 4 year old daughter, sometimes unusual wishes, but happiness, too!

A mother shares the things she would like to wish for her 4 year old daughter, sometimes unusual wishes, but happiness, too!

Dear M,

Your birthday is around the corner and I just don’t know what to write this year. But try I will.

As you turn a year older, M, I look back at the past year and realise how many changes you have gone through in the span of a few months.

From shifting from the daycare where you first went in as a 7-month-old baby to adjusting in and loving your new daycare. From starting school to loving it so very much. Learning to ride a bike to sharing your things more than I would like you to. Sometimes trying new foods to making so many new friends. You have done so much in just a year. You, my dear, have accepted and welcomed changes so much better than we adults would have and that I think is one of the best things about this past year, about you.

When you were younger, M, I had these huge and somewhat unrealistic assumptions as a mom. From wanting you to fall in love with books as soon as possible to not giving return gifts on birthday parties. Lofty, I know. But with every passing year, I have realised that sometimes while raising a child you need to adjust to the circumstances, let things fall into place and wait for your kid to learn things on her own while making sure the important tenets remain as they should. What can I say, I have learnt that compromise is a much-needed part of raising a child, of parenting.

Today, as you turn 4, M, I wish for 4 things for you. Well, I wish for more but 4 sounds good for now.

It’s OK to be a little selfish

I wish that you wouldn’t share so much.

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Now, hear me out. I know you have been taught that sharing is good and it is but when it is done in moderation. This past week while I sat there watching you run behind your new bike while someone else rode it, I wanted to stop it. But you were happy and I didn’t want to destroy that innocence. I fear your generosity and simplicity will be ill-used. And I was right. When you asked the girl who rode your new bike, if you could ride hers, she didn’t give you, did she? And when you asked for your bike before that she kept making you wait.

Well, M, the world is full of such people. So, I just wish you would be more careful. Of course, I have put your dad on this since you don’t listen to anybody’s explanation as you listen to his. Also, I must accept nobody explains it to you like him. So, I’m hopeful.

Competition isn’t everything

I wish you stay away from all the forced competition that I see around me.

A couple of days back when you started crying at night saying ‘Mumma, I didn’t win in the reading activity’, I didn’t know what to say. Seeing you cry scared me because I don’t want you to grow up believing that you always need to win or that not winning is not a good thing. I felt that I must have done something wrong that led you to believe that. I just want you to do well, M and not relative to some other kid. I just want YOU to do well.

A couple of years back while watching a program on television about the board results a ‘topper’ said this about her friend who was not a ‘topper’, “I don’t know how it feels to not be a topper. You can ask my friend in the audience, she would know for she always scored around 80 % in her exams.”

M, I don’t want you to be that girl. I don’t want you to be conceited or at the same time feel ashamed or inferior if you don’t fall in the so-called ‘topper’ category.

Humour your parents sometimes

I wish your parents weren’t such introverts.

Now, I’m not sure if it’s a good or a bad wish. The thing is both your parents are introverts, like to stay in and are happy that way. But I also do realise that that might sometimes put you at a disadvantage in terms of mixing with people.

I’m trying though. I’m part of Whatsapp groups now that I wouldn’t have been otherwise just so you don’t miss out on the fun. We’ll see where that leads, won’t we?

Be happy

And last but not least, I wish that you get all the happiness in the world.

What can I say, it’s a parent thing. I probably can do anything just to keep you happy. Of course, I wouldn’t want to spoil you and heed to all your demands but I wish for you to be happy and lead a comfortable life.

Well, that’s it for now, M. I still have a birthday party to plan. I hope you have fun. And I hope when many years down the line you read this, you call me to say how much you love me.

Happy Birthday, M.


A version of this was first published here.

Image source: shutterstock

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About the Author


A working mom who wants to raise a feminist daughter. A book lover who dreams of being an author one day. read more...

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