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Even 'feminists' often don't include all women in their feminism. Don't believe me? Read how the author calls out the hypocrisy.
Even ‘feminists’ often don’t include all women in their feminism. Don’t believe me? Read how the author calls out the hypocrisy.
Our feminism is selective.
We are reading and writing and making much noise. But our feminism is selective. We are crying and yelling and taking mutual stands. But our feminism is selective.
We celebrate women who leave abusive marriages and fight long battles. Who’ve been beaten down and gotten up and survived traumatic lives. But we are yet to forgive our mothers who chose to stay and not fight. We are yet to open our hearts to them being vulnerable and not leaving. We are yet to forgive our mothers for not being those women.
We pick t-shirts with feminist slogans and clothes that speak our mind. We make lines and stay awake to buy our favourite celebrity endorsed clothing line. We forget the women employed as cheap labour to make them. We pick “I am feminist” t-shirts that have cries of our tribe who weave them in sweatshops in conditions we won’t survive.
We praise our athletes when they win grand slams and bring gold medals. We post and repost and slam people who don’t speak about them. But we don’t want our athletes to be loud and angry. We don’t want them to be gay, lesbians and trans. We don’t want them crying in anger or being bossy. We appreciate them only when they are what we want them to be.
We follow internet celebrities who make fun videos. We subscribe and like and share and comment. We popularise videos that mock maids and “parlour didis”. We relate with the YouTuber who’s “tired of going to parlours and getting picked on by the parlours workers”. Workers who make less than 6k/pm. The YouTuber spends more than that on a bag. We relate with the youtuber because we don’t see class divide. We mock those didis because our feminism doesn’t include them.
We unite on Twitter and Facebook to teach the Delhi aunty a lesson in rape culture. We remind her that our clothes don’t define us. That we are not asking for it when we wear shorts. But we snicker in corners at office parties and judge middle aged women who wear backless blouses. We subtly remind our colleagues that it’s “too much cleavage and looks slutty”.
We consider women goddesses and witches. We have the power to change and become the change. Yet we exclude trans woman because they don’t share our anatomy. We want woman to look woman. Be woman. Born a woman. We accept nothing else as woman.
We follow body positive influencers on insta and fangirl over their styles. We tell them they inspire us with their confidence. But we pass snide comments at our overweight friends and classmates. Mock that guy about his tight shirt buttons. Giggle when we see that girl flaunt a dress at college. We want to be body positive on the internet, but to keep our jokes off the internet.
We appreciate women working all jobs. House maids and investment bankers. Homemakers and teachers. Doctors and fighter pilots. We exclude sex workers because it disturbs our morals. We don’t mention or talk about it because it’s not our territory. We subtly let our feminism run without acknowledging sex work.
We appreciate our favourite actresses who do women centric movies. We fangirl and book first day first shows. We stand with them when they talk pay gap and feminism. We also dance on their item songs objectifying women. We let them stereotype women as gold diggers in relationships subtly in songs. We like the bubble we live in.
We have become women we always wanted to be. We are yet to accept our sisters who aren’t what we want them to be. Our lens is different for different people. We pick our icons and feminist battles. We are yet to unlearn and learn. We are yet to allow women to be women.
Our feminism is selective and yet to start.
First published on the author’s Facebook page.
Image source: pexels
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Tarannum is a feminist who is currently pursuing her CA. She loves to read, write, and watch movies. Cooks rarely, eats more than regularly. And is always trying hard to behave her age. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
As long as teachers are competent in their job, and adhere to the workplace code of conduct, how does it matter what they do in their personal lives?
A 30 year old Associate Professor at a well-known University, according to an FIR filed by her, was forced to resign because the father of one of her students complained that he found his son looking at photographs of her, which according to him were “objectionable” and “bordering on nudity”.
There are two aspects to this case, which are equally disturbing, and which together make me question where we are heading as a society.
When the father of an 18 year old finds his son looking at photographs of a lady in a swimsuit, he can do many things. What this parent allegedly did was to dash off a letter to the University which states: