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Being in love with many people at the same time doesn’t make you a slut, and Radhika Apte has finally said it for all of us!
‘Hooks up with so many guys, such a slut, Oh! My god she flirts with everyone! Such a man grabber!” comments like these are pretty common for women who explore the possibility of love out there because obviously ‘a lady should always be a one-man woman’, right?
Well no, not right, and the very talented actress Radhika Apte has finally said it for all of us.
Radhika Apte has been always the talk of the town for speaking what she feels is right. Recently the actor opened up about her philosophy around love when she appeared on an episode of BFFs with Vogue Season 3, aired on Colors Infinity.
“Of course you get tempted. You don’t have to be an actor to be tempted. In life, you meet so many people and there are so many wonderful people and you get tempted. Sometimes it’s a physical attraction, sometimes it’s just admiration and that can be very potent also and I think that’s beautiful. Why would you not address that aspect of your life?”
She also commented on the fact that how sometimes we blame ourselves for the natural emotion of falling with many people at the same time –
“I believe in falling in love with many people. I love too many people at the same time also on various levels and in various ways. Like how I could love dancing and acting, why can’t I love you and you in different ways? So I don’t punish myself or tell myself ‘Oh my God, what happened’,” she said.
Not just this she also commented on the concept of monogamy
“Monogamy or being with one person has to be a choice made every day. It can’t be a compulsion. I need to make that choice every day, wake up and say this is the person I want to be with.” She said she is lucky to have a husband like Benedict Taylor.
Radhika with her bold statements has once again given an answer to many people who question the idea of falling in love many times.
It’s not new for people to judge men and women for having temptations. Although women are judged more than men, because obviously ‘ladka zyada score kar raha hai to stud and ladki kare to slut’ (if a boy ‘scores’ he’s a stud, if a woman does, she’s a slut).
There is the patriarchal belief that “women are meant to be monogamous, bring up the babies, and thus propagate the species, while men are meant to spread their seed.” The underlying assumption is that women aren’t really into sex — that we value motherhood and shopping more. Because of this belief, many who feel attracted to other men/women who aren’t their partners could feel crushed by the guilt.
But women are just as human as men, and being tempted or falling in love with many people is something that is natural irrespective of your gender.
We need to understand that no one should be forced to follow monogamy, and neither should people feel guilty of their temptations; because long-term commitment is hard. So if you feel attracted to many people at times, then don’t feel guilty. Because attraction is natural and people need to respect this.
I read, I write, I dream and search for the silver lining in my life. Being a student of mass communication with literature and political science I love writing about things that bother me. Follow read more...
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I recommend reading Manjiri Indurkar's Origami Aai alongside her memoir to have a fulfilling and enriching experience of telling one's story with grace.
It’s All In Your Head, M famed author Manjiri Indurkar’s debut poetry collection, Origami Aai, is independent and yet an extension of her memoir in which she speaks with utmost grace about all forms of abuses that she has survived. In this book of intriguing and evocative poems, the poet weaves words to form images of the everyday life of her middle-class family, love found and lost, trauma, and healing.
The collection is divided into four segments, beginning with the family, slowly moving towards the world, and finally colliding them together.
We aren’t in mourning, but we are creatures of habit.
So we talk of each one who died of drowning,
and I listen to her stories with the patience
of a chronicler.
– Funereal Stories
When someone accuses you of "too much feminism", what they are really saying is, "I am uncomfortable with you challenging the status quo and disrupting my privilege".
Time and again, there is one phrase that keeps coming up in the social media discourse on feminism. Any guesses?
Ah, no prizes for guessing the infamous “itni bhi feminist” or “too much feminism” phrase, a classic eye-roller for me, and I am sure for many more of my tribe, in the realm of gender equality discussions.
Pray tell me, how can an ideology, a movement be too ‘much’? It’s not salt or the seasoning of your soup where you can go, “Oops, too much salt, only one spoon was required”. Either you stand for what feminism stands for, or you don’t.
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