Since when has 'true love' begun to mean you can push your loved one and torture them or keep them captive? Shame on Kabir Singh's makers.
Since when has ‘true love’ begun to mean you can push your loved one and torture them or keep them captive? Shame on Kabir Singh’s makers.
It’s not that ‘Kabir Singh’ is the first movie made in Bollywood with traces of misogyny. But the fact that it earned in hundreds of crores does tell us something about what people in our country like/tolerate about films.
It shows that there are people in this country who are fine with a man treating a woman as his personal property.
It shows us that true love is confused with an unhealthy obsession for someone. Anything from stalking to violating someone’s personal space is alright as long as the other person believes they are in love.
It tells us that we are fine with a bully threatening anyone in his college from even approaching a girl just because he finds her attractive.
This fact that he has to threaten them is proof that he is heavily insecure of himself and he genuinely treats random guys around him as competition and that girl as the ultimate prize.
It is a reflection of how parents, especially fathers, approach the subject of their daughter’s marriage where the willingness of that girl to marry or not marry someone is secondary to the massive egos that their fathers have.
It shows us that we are fine with this definition of ‘true-love’ where you can slap someone and abuse them repeatedly just because their parents have a problem with your marriage instead of understanding the point of view of the other person.
Since when has love become about getting what you want from the other person even if it means that you have to make them go through all sorts of mental and physical torture?
True love has always been about letting the other person be themselves, and wanting the best for them even if it means that they may not end up with you.
The question is not whether the movie maker Sandeep Reddy Vanga is misogynistic or if the story reeks of misogyny, which it clearly does. The question is what we as a society can tolerate as art and how does it really reflect on us.
It’s about how far we can go to justify our false beliefs and how comfortable we are with peddling shameful behaviour as ‘true love’.
And I guess we have gone too far this time. It’s not that we can’t redeem ourselves. But it will take a lot of effort and soul searching from us a society to undo the damage that movies like ‘Kabir Singh’ have done.
A version of this was first published here.
Image source: YouTube
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This strange love story reminds me of Princess Diana when she gave an interview about Prince Charles - "There were three of us in this marriage!”
This love was flawed and broken the way only we humans know how to break things with our ego, pride, insecurity and complexities!
Where do I even begin to tell the story of how deep a love can be, how it transcends time, place and people. Perhaps this is a story about how women are their own worst enemies. Either way it is a story that tells us how frail, fragile and fraught we are as humans and how much we hurt each other.
This love story began when I was two years old. Growing up in India in a culture that wove love stories like Laila Majnu, Heer Ranjha and the epic symbol of love, the Taj Mahal, into the very fabric of our existence, love was always an integral part of our lives.
One such love story was of a boy and a girl who were neighbours. The boy, an athlete, artist and a poet, found his muse in this shy, thoughtful and in her own way poetic girl, who seemed to worship the very ground he walked on. Her face could be found in all the paintings he created, and her name in every poem he wrote. The girl called him Sagar, which means ocean, symbolizing his all-encompassing love for her.
Everything thing was going well; their wedding date was being finalized, till the boy’s older brother who was a doctor in the same little town, got accepted into Stanford Medical School to do his MS.
Earlier my husband would say, 'Arey! What is there in making dal-roti? It's so simple.' After he had to cook everyday when I was ill, he has stopped saying that to me!
“Arey! What is there to do in making dal roti? Put a handful of lentils in the cooker and let it whistle and make two rotis. After all, how long will it take?” A handful of dal (lentils) and two rotis! This is the story of every woman and no one seems to understand.
Some time ago, after a shopping spree, my husband and I entered the house, exhausted. I had just about kept all the bags aside, when my husband said, “I am very hungry, can you make something.”
I looked at my husband in amazement and thought, ‘He had just had food, how did he get hungry again so soon?’
My husband, as if he had read my face, said, “Arey! You know that my stomach is not filled with outside food. Just make dal roti. What is there to do in making dal roti? Put a handful of lentils in the cooker and let it whistle and make two rotis. After all, how long will it take?”
‘Is this the way dal (lentils) and roti are made?’ The thought came to my mind. ‘After all, I also went along and now I am tired too.’ I was also getting angry at myself that after all, I had spoiled the habit of everyone in the house.
The upcoming Tamil remake of Arjun Reddy a.k.a. Kabir Singh goes on to show you just what sells in our country - Toxic masculinity! Hence it makes perfect business sense to the irresponsible makers of these movies.
The upcoming Tamil remake of Arjun Reddy a.k.a. Kabir Singh goes on to show you just what sells in our country – Toxic masculinity! Hence it makes perfect business sense to the irresponsible makers of these movies.
As if neither Arjun Reddy nor Kabir Singh was enough, Kollywood decided to trample upon women with another misogynist giant – Adithya Varma. Doesn’t it make you wonder how pathetically insensitive the public is? That despite the toxicity these movies propagate, people are actually waiting for it!
Merely the trailer of Adithya Varma has reached 14 million views and is on its way to more! Though the movies did get a lot of criticism for glamorising misogyny and toxic masculinity, they are still being produced. Let us look upon the facts that has made these kind of movies so popular and influential.
Firstly, the things that went wrong in Kabir Singh. It is not only Kabir, but Preeti’s (aka the Beloved) character has also been greatly unjustified. As a conflict to Kabir’s violence, Preeti is a quiet and demure MBBS student who has accepted her identity to be his “bandi”.
As a former Shahid Kapoor fan, here’s why I’ve an issue with Shahid Kapoor’s choice of Kabir Singh. And why in 2020, we don't need such misogynistic ideas.
As a former Shahid Kapoor fan, here’s why I’ve an issue with Shahid Kapoor’s choice of Kabir Singh. And why in 2020, we don’t need such misogynistic ideas.
Dear Shahid Kapoor,
You are good at what you do. But this time, your choice of script disappointed me big time. I don’t want to talk about my expectations from you, as there are none. But I definitely want to believe that you’re evolving both, as a human and as an artist, just like so many of us.
I watched Jab We Met while I was in hostel, doing my PG. We have literally grown up together, dude! How old were you then? 26, I believe? So tell me is it wrong to expect a little more responsibility from you?