Anupama writes a letter to her 18-years old daughter. Read what she has to say.
Since when has ‘true love’ begun to mean you can push your loved one and torture them or keep them captive? Shame on Kabir Singh’s makers.
It’s not that ‘Kabir Singh’ is the first movie made in Bollywood with traces of misogyny. But the fact that it earned in hundreds of crores does tell us something about what people in our country like/tolerate about films.
It shows that there are people in this country who are fine with a man treating a woman as his personal property.
It shows us that true love is confused with an unhealthy obsession for someone. Anything from stalking to violating someone’s personal space is alright as long as the other person believes they are in love.
It tells us that we are fine with a bully threatening anyone in his college from even approaching a girl just because he finds her attractive.
This fact that he has to threaten them is proof that he is heavily insecure of himself and he genuinely treats random guys around him as competition and that girl as the ultimate prize.
It is a reflection of how parents, especially fathers, approach the subject of their daughter’s marriage where the willingness of that girl to marry or not marry someone is secondary to the massive egos that their fathers have.
It shows us that we are fine with this definition of ‘true-love’ where you can slap someone and abuse them repeatedly just because their parents have a problem with your marriage instead of understanding the point of view of the other person.
Since when has love become about getting what you want from the other person even if it means that you have to make them go through all sorts of mental and physical torture?
True love has always been about letting the other person be themselves, and wanting the best for them even if it means that they may not end up with you.
The question is not whether the movie maker Sandeep Reddy Vanga is misogynistic or if the story reeks of misogyny, which it clearly does. The question is what we as a society can tolerate as art and how does it really reflect on us.
It’s about how far we can go to justify our false beliefs and how comfortable we are with peddling shameful behaviour as ‘true love’.
And I guess we have gone too far this time. It’s not that we can’t redeem ourselves. But it will take a lot of effort and soul searching from us a society to undo the damage that movies like ‘Kabir Singh’ have done.
A version of this was first published here.
Image source: YouTube
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Writing is my therapy. It helps me make sense of all that is going around
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