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Today, during this special week for women, instead of wishing a very happy women’s week to all my female friends and loved ones, I chose to sit back and contemplate for myself as a woman and decided to liberate myself from all the pressures I have been living with for the last so many years.
As we rightly say, “Charity begins from home”, and I thought, more than anyone else, it’s for my own sake that I need to live with sanity and purpose.
Being single has been a little difficult so far but then, acceptance is the one best way to live peacefully. I am not amongst those woman who would say that marriage and love is a myth, or that I never wanted to marry, or that I wanted to be a free woman. I am a little different in a way because I have seen loving men around, I have seen men actually respecting and loving their partners, and I had always dreamt of having one such man in my life too. I have felt the urge to live the ordinary life of a woman with children, one who is gifted by God to nurture a human being in the most loving way. But dreams at times are way different from what destiny has in store for you.
My dreams haven’t lost faith in having these soon though.
A few years back, after having almost two decades of working experience and not feeling very fulfilled with the work and the daily routine, I took the strong decision of quitting my job without any plans. I must say, this was one of the most difficult decisions of my life, leaving a senior position and a handsome salary. I was in the middle of nowhere and more than me, the world seemed to be hassled with what I was going to do next.
It’s been almost 1.5 years now since I quit my job or I would rather say since I stopped earning, which is the only pain point and that too, one which hits me only when I am in a deep shit of insecurity. However, by God’s Grace, and due to our simple upbringing and lifestyle, due to my dad’s intelligent financial plans and our savings so far, I have been able to manage till now without any such situation where I have to forgo any of my desires.
For the world it’s like the cherry on the cake now…single woman and that too not working? HAWWWW!
People around me (not including my loved ones) have started poking their noses, fingers, and mouths into my peaceful life asking me how I spend my time when I am ‘Single’ and ‘Not Working’.
They may not be loud and clear in phrasing their questions about my marital and non-working status but their twisted way of barging into my world makes it very clear that they are amazed as to how can a woman like me can pass her time well and doesn’t seem to be frustrated.
I am today sitting back and telling my self these 7 things.
1. For me my mental peace is the most important thing which I have always focused on.
2. Being single is not a problem for me but yes, I would love to have a companion. I am sure there are plans for me to be happier.
3. Quitting my job was not ‘giving up’. I didn’t quit my job because of anyone. No body has walked my path so nobody has the right to make judgements on my decisions. I am a survivor. I have gone through hell right from the first day of my career and have bounced back every time I was pulled down. I have been able to built a strong resilience and nobody in this world has the guts to go through what I did. People knowing me and my experience have applauded how I survived, that too successfully and with dignity.
4. My decision to quit my job was for my happiness. I was not feeling happy anymore with what I was doing. I very strongly felt that a crucial phase of my life is getting wasted with this monotonous and unproductive routine. Life meant a lot to me and if I can, then why not live life, take chances and experience other shades of life too? I didn’t want to repent in my last years that had I taken a small risk, I could have truly lived instead of running in the rat race.
5. If after quitting my Job, I am living my aspirations, then why am I supposed to justify my life to anyone?
6. I am able to paint a lot, write a lot, do my yoga, a lot of walking, spend a lot of time with my parents, am able to make plans of travelling and meeting my old friends when ever I feel like, I am able to do a lot of house chores like chopping vegetables, kneading the dough, washing dishes, cooking new things, spending time with my sisters and my lovely niece and nephew; I am able to see them growing up, am able to meet cousins I could never meet or last did when we were kids, I am able to try out new things and most importantly, I am able to be happy and make my surroundings happier which I somehow ignored when i was working. I am able to maintain my mental sanity…then why the hell I am living under the pressure of answering to the world?
7. This is my life and it’s my time. I am doing my bit and my universe will do its bit for helping me give a purposeful direction to my life.
So just relax…nothing goes waste in this world. My attempts at exploring my niche will come to light soon. Until that time building a foundation is important and it has to be a strong and happy foundation. Nobody has the right and power to shake my foundation and my structure. My confidence, my patience, my resilience and my loved ones are my strengths.
I may be single, I may be non-working but I am a satisfied, happy soul, a spirituality awakened soul.
I want my own support every minute of my life and nobody else can give me the amount of love and acceptance I can give myself.
So I love me, and give myself my best wishes. I shall stay happy, healthy and I shall LIVE my life…I don’t believe in “existing” – I will “LIVE”.
Image via Unsplash
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