Timetable For A Depressed Poet: For All My Sisters Who’ve Been There

This poem is shared in solidarity with every woman who feels like there are days when she just can’t bear to get up, when all she wants to do is go back into her dreams.

Get up

and

try not to be disappointed

that the world still ticks on, unaffected.

Collect the minutiae of the morning,

flow with it

if you can.

Convince yourself that

the greasy grassiness of the carpet between your toes

won’t be so bad,

that it won’t remind you of the artificialness of

everything and everyone,

and will only be a minor reminder to

breathe.

Dot a page with alphabets

refusing to cohere.

When it’s time for lunch chew

them up,

ragged paper chunks of discarded drivel

because

your feelings are too abstract to be eaten.

If by now, you aren’t ready to give up

on the pretense of life,

Go on.

Else, like me,

go back to bed.

At least dreams are not so insolently

boring.

Author’s note:

I wrote this poem a couple of years ago, when I was struggling emotionally. I don’t know if this experience can be labelled clinical depression – I’ve never been diagnosed professionally. And while I’m in a better state of mind nowadays, I still occasionally have days when I feel “out of it.”

I wrote this poem for myself. I never intended to share this part of myself with the world. I’ve always felt the need to never let the mask slip, to always appear happy, no matter what I’m going through.

But recently, a couple of friends shared honestly about their own struggles, and I was inspired by their ability to let themselves be vulnerable. So, I’m taking the leap as well.

And to all my sisters, who feel like this, I see you. And I am with you.

Image Via Unsplash

VJ

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