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There is so much happening outside and inside us, that insomnia is now a relentless constant, especially for women who feel too deeply.
Because it is too hot Or it is too cold
Because, hormones.
Because there is something on the roof, That scratch scratch scratches all night long.
Because I keep getting up to drink water And then I keep getting up to pee.
Because I slept too much when I was younger.
Because I saw a cockroach once on my pillow, And now I believe that it is always around Waiting to crawl in my ear and feast on my brain.
Because I scroll, scroll, scroll, watching lives happen At a distance of one day forward from where I am.
Because I’m haunted by worry, or sorrow, or anger.
Because the nights are too short, To contain everything I feel.
Because I am so exhausted by the weight on my heart, I don’t even have the energy to unload it.
Because when I do go to sleep, I have nightmares of being abandoned.
Because as much as I would like it to The world doesn’t just stop.
Because when I wake up, it will still all be here, And any respite I get in sleep, will have been a lie anyway.
Because I am immune now to hot baths, turmeric milk, guided meditation, And yes, I could keep my phone aside, But then I’d have to deal with the inside of my mind.
Because I am kept awake, By all these half truths, Swimming in my eyes.
Image source: a still from the film Thappad.
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People have relationships without marriages. People cheat. People break up all the time. Just because two people followed some rituals does not make them more adept at tolerating each other for life.
Why is that our society defines a woman’s success by her marital status? Is it an achievement to get married or remain married? Is it anybody’s business? Are people’s lives so hollow that they need someone’s broken marriage to feel good about themselves?
A couple of months ago, I came across an article titled, “Shweta Tiwari married for the third time.” When I read through it, the article went on to clarify that the picture making news was one her one of her shows, in which she is all set to marry her co-star. She is not getting married in real life.
Fair enough. But why did the publication use such a clickbait title that was so misleading? I guess the thought of a woman marrying thrice made an exciting news for them and their potential readers who might click through.
Imposter Syndromes is experienced internally as chronic self-doubt and feelings of intellectual fraudulence. There are 6 types of Imposter Syndrome.
Do you tend to be overly critical of yourself? Don’t worry, you are not alone.
Even after writing eleven books and winning several prestigious awards, Maya Angelou doubted that she had earned her accomplishments. Albert Einstein also described himself as an involuntary swindler whose work did not deserve the attention it had received.
Feeling inadequate, unworthy, and undeserving of success, along with the fear of being exposed as a fraud, is called the imposter syndrome.