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The author writes about the emotions a surrogate mother goes through, carrying a baby not her own, yet tied to it by the umbilical cord, and having to give it up, even if she gains financially.
The hospital corridor was full of pregnant women. The stark smell of bleach was overwhelming. I was feeling uncomfortable and heavy. Dr Sunita Verma entered her cabin. I followed her in for a regular check up.
“Baby looks absolutely fine.” She said with a smile, pointing towards the sonography screen. “Can you see those beautiful little hands floating like a lotus?” I nodded and smiled back too, holding back my fear.
He or she inside me would kick hard, but it never hurt. As the weeks passed by, I could feel the baby joggling inside. I would feel exhausted all the time, even after eight hours of sleep. It was becoming difficult to bear the discomfort with my belly stretching every inch.
With every passing day I would regret my decision. I would get impatient.
And finally the water broke. The excruciating pain went on for more than 12 hours. I pushed hard for hours, and everything around me started fading away.
A few hours later when I regained my consciousness, I looked around the room. “Is it a boy or a girl?” I asked. But the doctor didn’t disclose anything. “You can collect your remaining cheque from the accounts department. You can go back home in a day, till then just relax.”
‘No pain no gain.’ I had heard it several times. And sometimes the person who goes through this pain has to live with it forever. Without complaining, without revealing anything to anybody.
Today I have enough money to get my husband’s surgery done, and I had sold a part of my soul to get it.
Later I got to know that due to some complications, I will never be able to bear a child again.
Surrogacy is not easy. A part of you is lost forever. I wish I could find some other way to deal with my challenges.
Someday I shall plan to adopt a child for myself, but will never let other women go through this trauma again.
A version of this was first published here.
Image source: shutterstock
Teacher by profession, a proud mother, voracious reader an amateur writer who is here to share life experiences.... read more...
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Rajshri Deshpande, who played the fiery protagonist in Trial by Fire along with Abhay Deol speaks of her journey and her social work.
Rajshri Deshpande as the protagonist in ‘Trial by Fire’, the recent Netflix show has received raving reviews along with the show itself for its sensitive portrayal of the Uphaar Cinema Hall fire tragedy, 1997 and its aftermath.
The limited series is based on the book by the same name written by Neelam and Shekhar Krishnamoorthy, who lost both their children in the tragedy. We got an opportunity to interview Rajshri Deshpande who played Neelam Krishnamoorthy, the woman who has been relentlessly crusading in the court for holding the owners responsible for the sheer negligence.
Rajshri Deshpande is more than an actor. She is also a social warrior, the rare celebrity from the film industry who has also gone back to her roots to give to poverty struck farming villages in her native Marathwada, with her NGO Nabhangan Foundation. Of course a chance to speak with her one on one was a must!
“What is a woman’s job, Ramesh? Taking care of parents-in-law, husband, children, home and things at work—all at the same time? She isn’t God or a superhuman."
The arrays of workstations were occupied by people peering into their computer screens. The clicks of keyboard keys were punctuated by the occasional footsteps moving around to brainstorm or collaborate with colleagues in their cubicles. Most employees went about their tasks without looking at the person seated on either side of their workstation. Meenakshi was one of them.
The thirty-one-year-old marketing manager in a leading eCommerce company in India sat straight in her seat, her eyes on the screen, her fingers punching furiously into the keys. She was in a flow and wanted to finish the report while the thoughts and words were coming effortlessly into her mind.
Natu-Natu. The mellifluous ringtone interrupted her thoughts. She frowned at her mobile phone with half a mind to keep it ringing until she noticed the caller’s name on the screen, making her pick up the phone immediately.
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